Mass Effect™: Retribution Read Online Free PDF

Gillian,” she pressed. “Maybe coming here and meeting some of the other students and seeing the advances we’ve made would make things easier somehow.”
    “It’s too dangerous,” Grayson replied, refusing to even consider her offer. “For me and for you.”
    “I wish you’d let me help you,” she said. “You don’t have to do this alone, you know.”
    “I wish that were true. Goodbye, Kahlee. It was good seeing you.”
    And with that, the call abruptly ended.
    Kahlee flicked off her screen and tried to turn her attention back to the files she’d been studying, knowing it was a lost cause.
    Grayson wasn’t exactly a friend. He had a dark history, and she was certain he’d done things that would horrify her. But they had a strong connection through their feelings for Gillian, and through the traumaticexperiences they’d shared while on the run from Cerberus.
    She knew he was trying to turn his life around; she truly believed that in his own way he was seeking redemption. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do other than hope he someday found it.

THREE
    Grayson sat for several minutes in front of the terminal after disconnecting his call to Kahlee, his mind filled with thoughts of his daughter.
    She was in a better place now, and that gave him some comfort. But he couldn’t help remembering all the terrible things that Cerberus had done to her. All the things he’d helped them do to her.
    The familiar guilt washed over him, followed quickly by the inevitable self-contempt. There was nothing he could do to change the past; feeling bad about it was a waste of time. He considered himself a practical man, and he needed to stay focused in the here and now if he wanted to stay alive.
    Unfortunately, rational arguments held little sway over matters of the heart, and—as he so often did after speaking with Kahlee—he felt hot tears streaming down his cheeks.
    He had sworn he’d become a better person for Gillian’s sake. And while it was true he’d turned his back on Cerberus, was what he was doing now really so different? He was a paid mercenary for a ruthless crime lord on the most dangerous, deadly space station in the galaxy. Did killing someone for credits becomeless amoral if the target had probably done something to deserve it?
    In some part of his mind, the answer must have been yes. The nightmares that had plagued him during his time under the Illusive Man were gone; on some level he must have been more accepting of his new position. On the other hand, there were times when he felt fractured, as if he were two people. He knew the kind of man he wanted to be, but part of him—the little voice in the back of his head—wouldn’t let him forget what he once was.
    You can’t change what you are
, the little voice chimed in, as if on cue.
You’re a killer. A violent man. And one day you’ll die a bloody, violent death and the galaxy will be a better place because you’re gone
.
    The acceptance of his own incorrigible nature was strangely reassuring. It confirmed his decision to let Gillian go with Hendel and the quarians; better to put her as far away from her monster of a father as possible. It made it easier for him to distance himself from his past; made it easier to do what had to be done to survive in the present.
    He wiped away the tears and got up from his chair. Liselle was waiting for him at Afterlife, but he wasn’t quite ready to face the club scene yet. And he still had to hide the packets of red sand lying just inside the door of his apartment.
    Maybe a quick dusting is what you need to pick up your spirits
.
    Grayson did his best to ignore the voice. He’d been clean for three years now. His body no longer craved the chemical-induced euphoria of the red sand.
    But it was never really about the physical cravings
,
was it? Dusting takes away the pain. Makes things bearable
.
    He’d cleaned himself up for Gillian’s sake. She didn’t deserve a junkie for a father.
    Gillian’s