Mary Ellen Courtney - Hannah Spring 01 - Wild Nights Read Online Free PDF Page B

and sit back on the cold seat.
    “I’m sorry,” I said.
    “You shouldn’t apologize so much.”
    I put on the shoes I’d kicked off at some point and gathered my purse.
    “Thanks for everything,” I said.
    He just nodded while he looked out the front window. I got into the loaner. His headlights hadn’t come on by the time I turned the corner toward the motel.
    I called Steve to let him know I was in for the night, and then I took a long hot shower and washed the smoke out of my hair and citrus off my skin. His saliva was slick on my nipple under the warm water. It seemed like I tossed all night.

T WO
    I must have finally dropped off to sleep because I awoke to the sound of my mother calling. The woman at the funeral home had stayed late and arranged Grandma’s scarf. She’d emailed photos to Mom. Mom said it looked like grandma was wearing a necktie or ascot, not a cloud of lavender.
    “I didn’t even know you could do that with a scarf,” she said.
    “I’ll take care of it, Mom.”
    “Thanks GG,” she hung up.
    The phone rang again. It was my best friend and current work partner, Karin.
    “Hey,” she said. “Where are you? We stopped by your house last night and went for a swim.”
    I’ve worked with Karin on two shows. Unlike me, she never second-guesses herself and she doesn’t space out and miss exits either. It makes us a great team. She approaches her life the same way. She’s from white money outside Chicago and has two kids with a stunt man named Oscar. He’s a great guy and wonderful father; he’s also black. Her parents were not amused by her choice, but they’ve come around. Their kids are the kind you can actually enjoy. Karin keeps saying they’re going to get married and make the little milk chocolate bastards legal, her words not mine, but there doesn’t seem to be any hurry.
    I filled her in on events. She was disappointed that I had felt compelled to insult Stroud instead of enjoy him, but that now I understood Oscar heat. She thought I was deluding myself with the notion that Steve and I could develop chemistry. Especially since I still hadn’t gotten around to showing him what I liked. I kept hoping he’d figure it out. It reminded her of a card she’d seen, something about how it takes a thousand words to fake an orgasm, but only three to say “here’s my clit.” I doubted it actually said that; she’d seen it at the car wash in West Hollywood. There wasn’t a clit within a two-mile radius. She was right. All the faking was just making things worse. It wasn’t like it was a total bust. Every once in a while the chemistry kicked in. Karin said it was just Mother Nature trying to get me knocked up.
    Now I realized the main problem was that the wild animal wasn’t reaching out to grab Steve like it had Stroud. I was determined to give Steve some help, buy him citrus aftershave. I hoped the wild animal would at least come out to shake hands.
    I used the washcloth to clean my teeth, brushed my hair and turned my underpants inside out before putting them back on. I’m in the film business. I know better than to leave home without clean underwear. You never know what’s going to happen on location, and I don’t mean that in the Biblical sense.
    I pulled on my long skirt and buttoned my smoky citrusy blouse like a hair shirt. The odor made me feel uneasy, like I was supposed to be taking care of something important, but I’d forgotten where I put it. I knew that if I’d stayed in that Volvo I’d feel ill with guilt; but not staying felt ill with longing.
    I went downstairs to check out. The clerk handed me a brown paper bag some guy had dropped off early. Hannah hannaH was written in ballpoint pen. He said the guy hadn’t known my last name.
    It was Grandma’s box; I’d left it in his car. I opened it to check on the bird. Stroud’s business card was on top of the wrapped body. It was as unsettling as an impenetrable whisper. I could feel his hand putting it in