when all the evidence of one's being a man comprises of one's height and a few hairs grown on the chin? Who will you kill, your enemy or yourself? And what's wrong with eating well and not being a refugee, which you might have been if you weren't my sister, Arla's, son and if Salaado and I weren't doing well financially. And pray don't talk ill of the UNHCR people, whether in Geneva, Mogadiscio or here, in this, or any other continent: they're not statisticians obsessed with abstracted numbers and charts of starvation and malnutrition. Of course, they have to ascertain how many refugees there are and how much money they can raise and how many calories an African child can cope with. It is the tone I donât like, eating âa mountainful of spaghettiâ, etc. Indeed! Askar, one must be grateful for the little mercies in life. One must be thankful to the dedicated souls, serving in these camps under very hard conditions (for them), while they wait for a donor to donate the food and medicines
â
making sure (and this is very, very difficult) that the local mafia doesnât misappropriate them
.
I confess, it pains me to remember the number of times you, Salaado and I have spoken about and analysed the seeds of your sense of âguiltâ. Salaado âs telegraphic message suggests it to be as bad as the days following the tragic weekend when, overnight and in a
coup de grâce,
the Ogaden was wrung out of Somali hands and âreturnedâ to Ethiopiaâs claw-hammer. Now whatâs this that I hear, that you were salvaged from the corpse of your mother? Is there anyone who can substantiate that with some evidence? Your mother lived long enough to have scribbled something in her journal. That means that she died after you were born, especially if we take into account Misraâs statement which agrees with this claim of mine
.
To think, at your age, when youâre in Hargeisa for a holidaying trip, that your thoughts are still obsessed with some obscure facts relating to your birth. This disturbs Salaado
â
it perturbs me. Salaado tells me that you want to return to Kallafo in order to have this question answered once and for all. That is not the same thing as joining the Western Somali Liberation Front, I take it? But Salaado is under the impression that for you, the two are one and the same thing. Now what do you want to do? Of course, you can do both and we have no objection to your deciding to return to the Ogaden as a recruited member of the Front (which we all support) and when there, do your research into your beginnings. You tell us what you want and well give you our opinion
.
Forgive me, but I've never held the view
â
nor has Salaado
â
that, since there are many able-bodied men and women in the Ogaden who can shoot a gun, kill an âAmxaarâ in a scuffle and, if need be, confront the lion in the den, a youngster like you mustnât go. No. âSomebodyâ must go. But who is this âsomebodyâ? If every father, mother, relation said, âNo, not my son, let someone else join the Frontâ, then you know where weâll end up? The view Salaado and I hold, is that since youâll prove to be excellent material as a researcher, as a writer of articles and as one who can impart enlightened opinion about the cause, why not âeat mountainfuls of spaghetti while others dieâ and why not, when doing so, complete your education
.
Should you insist that you wish to re-enter the Ogaden without touching Mogadiscio, then I am afraid that neither Salaado nor I can do anything about it. All we can suggest that we offer is help. But I plead to you not to depart without at least letting Salaado know. If you inform me by return post that youâre definitely leaving, then Iâll make arrangements for more money to be transferred to Hargeisa, care of a bank
.
If weâre to believe that you âstaredâ at Misra when she found you and
Elizabeth Amelia Barrington