Many Shades of Gray Read Online Free PDF Page B

like the rest,” Janice did as Simon had done and pointed toward the bedroom, “then I would suggest you get someone else.”
    She smiled and he wished like hell he hadn’t pushed. They both knew he was a liar on that score and now she’d issued an ultimatum that he wasn’t going to take and instead of putting her in her place, he looked weak and ineffectual.
    “Sometime your being bitchy to me is not going to be so amusing. If I were you I would pray that day never comes. I’ll repeat, Janice, you don’t want me for an enemy.”
    She smiled as cool as you please. “And you don’t want me for one.”
    “I know you say you don’t love me,” Simon said over the lump in his throat, “but sometimes you behave as though you hate me. Do you hate me, Janice?”
    “Sometimes I do. Why?”
    “I was just wondering.”
    Janice cocked her head and observed Simon with a cold stare. She didn’t know what was up with him and she didn’t like it. For the past few months his behavior had become unpredictable. He’d nagged her so long about getting married that she’d finally screamed, ‘Yes,’ just to shut him up. Not the stuff romances were made from. And now he was talking about love and checking on her. She gave him a good hard look. His cold grey eyes revealed nothing, not even passion. That was the one emotion he’d been unable to hide from her.
    She hated it when they fought. She felt evil, but she’d learned long ago that she had to be tough, had to not give a damn. She’d played her part so well, worn that veneer for so long that it was now a part of her soul. She couldn’t afford to show she cared, not about anything or anyone other than herself. Her career was the only thing that mattered that she didn’t have to pretend about.
    Her family disapproved of her living in New York, blaming the city for the type of books she wrote. Her mother had told her many times that she needed to write something more uplifting. Her brothers thought she’d betrayed them personally for not portraying black men as more heroic. For some crazy reason they thought if she returned home she would change back into Mary Jo Adams. She wouldn’t. To hear them tell it, she should be leading a revolution. They thought she’d sold out simply because she didn’t write books that featured predominately African American characters. And when she did, they didn’t like the way she portrayed the male characters. Who the hell were they to criticize her? They should have been proud of her for being willing to admit the truth. Not all black men behaved honorably. Instead, they acted as if she carried the plague.
    No one would even accept money from her, money that they knew she had, money that she knew would buy extras. It wasn’t as though they really needed her money, but it would have been fun to have been allowed to shower them with gifts. Yet they wouldn’t hear of it. No, they behaved as though her money were tainted.
    Her mother had told her she couldn’t take money from a daughter who’d prostituted her soul to write smut. That remark had hurt, but when she’d received a million dollars advance from Simon, she’d soon gotten over that hurt. And she had a hell of a lot more to thank Simon for. He’d invested all of her money in sure things and she knew even without him she would never want for anything. Anything, that is, except companionship.
    For now she had that with Simon. Why he wanted to be with her, only God knew. She wasn’t even nice to him most time, though there were times she wanted to be. But she couldn’t soften toward him. She couldn’t afford to show him she cared or have him think her weak. If she so much as showed a crack, he would toss her out like yesterday’s newspaper. For now he was the only one who wanted her. No one else could stand her and she knew it. Hell, if her fans were around her for more than five minutes at a time she would lose them. It was becoming harder and harder for her to control her