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to make an alliance marriage - that could ruin it. And there are damn few people even inside the Heralds who would understand someone wanting a child badly enough to go to bed with someone other than her lifebonded.:
    Yfandes' mind-voice was hesitant. :Truth, Chosen - in seems to bother you. :
    Vanyel leaned farther back into the chair, scrawling replies to the invitations with half his attention. It did bother him, and in a way that made him reluctant to even think about Shavri, sometimes. :It's not that,: he temporized. :lt's just that I'm worried about them.:
    But the uneasy feeling continued, an uncomfortable unhappiness that he couldn't define. So he continued hastily, : Poor Shavri; you can't know how much she wanted that child. That was the only reason we did it.:
    :You like her. :
    :Of course I like her!: he answered-again, just a shade too quickly. :She and Randale - they’re friends; how could I have told them no?: He shied away from examining his feelings too closely. :Besides, it was never anything more than a physical exercise for either of us. No more involved for me, certainly, than dancing. Shavri being a Healer, she could make sure she “caught” the first time. Neither of us were emotionally involved, or ever likely to be.:
    :I suppose that could have been a problem,: she replied.
    :Exactly. That's why Shavri and Randale asked me to help in the first place: I was perfect; a Herald, already a friend, physically able, and not going to get romantically entangled.:
    :Don't you . . . want the child, sometimes?: Yfandes sounded wistful. Vanyel was a bit surprised.
    :Frankly, no. I'm not very paternal. It takes more than seed to make a father, love. Great good gods, can you see me as a parent? I'd be awful. Randale has what I lack in that department.: His thoughts darkened, as he recalled what had been bothering him since he scanned the palace when they rode in. : 'Fandes, I'm worried about them. When Lancir died - truth, I almost expected Taver to Choose me King's Own. Instead - instead he chose Shavri, and I'm desperately afraid it wasn't because she was Randale's lifebonded. I'm afraid it was because she's a Healer.:
    There was a long silence on Yfandes' part. Then, :Why haven't you said something before this?:
    :Because - I wasn't sure. I've been wrong about things so many times - and I didn't really want to think about it. Shavri told me once that she was afraid that Randale's sterility was a symptom of something worse. I didn't know what to say, so I told her not to worry about it. But now -you know how sensitive I am; follow my line to Rondale - :
    Vanyel could “ feel ” every Herald and Herald-Mage in Haven, all tied to him by a kind of tenuous network of lines of life-energy, with every identity as plain to him as if he could see the faces. Most Herald-Mages could follow the line to anyone who had shared magic with them; Vanyel could follow the line of anyone who had “ shared magic ” just by virtue of being a Herald. He had the line that led to Randale without even thinking about it, and “ felt ” Yfandes follow it down with him, Seeing what he Saw.
    :There's - something not right,: she said, after a moment's study. Something out of balance. Physically, not mentally or emotionally. But I can't tell what it is. :
    :Exactly,: he agreed. :I felt it as soon as we came in; he wasn't like that when we left. I wish I was a Healer-Adept like Moondance k'Treva or even little Brightstar. They're much better at understanding imbalances than I am.: He rubbed his forehead, his headache starting again.
    :I don't think I will ever forget the look on Shavri's face!, when you told her this wasn't the first time you'd done someone the favor of – uh - stud service.: Yfandes' mind-voice colored yellow with laughter, and he was just as pleased to change the subject.
    :Moondance and Starwind wanted a child to raise, and neither of them can function with a female,: he reminded her, :and Snowlight was willing to