Reason'll bring me back. I'm not going to die young. I'm not."
"Okay," Tom said. "If that's— "
Jay-Tee burst into tears.
For the first time, that phrase made sense to Tom. A shuddering, torn sound burst from Jay-Tee's chest, as if the tears were being ripped from her body. She shook with it. Water ran down her face, soaking into her (Esmeralda's, actually) T-shirt.
Jay-Tee slid to the floor, leaning against the kitchen counter, washing-up gloves still on, soapy frying pan still in her hands. She pulled her knees up to her chest, so the pan was caught between chest and thighs, and continued howling.
Tom stared at Jay-Tee, tea towel in one hand, good knife in the other, with no idea what to do. He hadn't realised Jay-Tee was capable of crying. She always seemed so…so not cry-ey. He should do something.
Jay-Tee howled louder, tears and snot mixing as they poured over her chin. Tom put the knife and tea towel down, grabbed a tissue, and started to hand it to her, but she still had wet rubber gloves on; instead, he wiped at her face with it. Within seconds it was soggy. He slid the pan out of her grasp and put it back in the soapy water, then grabbed more tissues and mopped at her face and chin, being careful not to press too hard on her bruise. She didn't stop shaking or howling.
"It's going to be okay," he told her, even though it was a spectacularly lame thing to say. Things were not going to be okay. Jay-Tee would go crazy and join his and Reason's mums in Kalder Park. If they'd even admit her, what with her being American and everything. Once they found out she wasn't Australian, she'd wind up in a detention centre as an illegal immigrant, and then she'd use magic to try and escape, and she'd die.
Now he felt like crying.
He wiped at Jay-Tee's tears some more, avoiding the red, blue, green, and purple monster bruise on her cheek, wondering if he should get another box of tissues. He patted her knee, told her not to cry, and several other lameries in as soothing a voice as he could manage.
Jay-Tee's tears began to slow, as if she were a balloon with a tiny hole letting all the air out. He patted her shoulder, slid his arm behind her back. She let her head rest on his shoulder. She sighed and then hiccupped.
"Sorry," Jay-Tee said, then hiccupped again. Tears were still leaking out. Tom could feel his shoulder getting wet, but at least she wasn't shaking anymore.
"No worries," he told her. "It sucks."
She nodded against his shoulder. "Does. Big time."
Tom brought his hand up to stroke her hair. "No point not crying, really."
Jay-Tee made an odd sound. It took Tom a few seconds to realise she was giggling.
"Yup," she said, sitting up and wiping her eyes. "Nothing left to do but weep and wail and give our lives up to God. Time to join a convent."
"Speak for yourself!"
Jay-Tee laughed again. "Or a monastery."
"Again, speak for yourself! I'm not religious."
"You're not?" Jay-Tee seemed amazed.
"Course not. Don't believe in God."
"You don't? How could you not? I mean, you're magic! Of all people, you know God is real."
"Excuse me?" It was Tom's turn to be amazed. "How do you make that out?"
"Magic," Jay-Tee said. "You know it's true. Everything in the Bible: water into wine, the fishes and loaves, raising the dead. You know it's all possible. More than possible."
"Raising the dead?"
Jay-Tee nodded. "My daddy told me about it. It can be done. It's just not a very good idea. He wanted to bring my mom back— "
"Ewww."
"Yeah. But not when the son of God does it. That's different."
"You're saying Jesus was a magic-wielder like us? You're saying I'm just like Jesus? Isn't that kind of blasphemous, given that he was the son of God and everything?"
Jay-Tee crossed herself. "Of course not! Jesus wasn't