Maggie's Five ...the first in a LOVE story Read Online Free PDF Page B

my
head into the nook of his elbow, folding him into me, or is it me
into him, I can’t tell. Luke’s strong hold is firm as our three
bodies shift for a better fit.
    “ Clear.” the woman demands again. “No response, continue CPR,”
pressing something onto Mattie’s chest as the high-pitched whine
increases again.
    “ Clear.” There’s another jolt. Mattie convulses, and then
thuds limply. “Charge again… darn it, come on,” she says through
clenched teeth. “Clear.”
    Another
convulsion. Another limp non-response.
    “ Call
for an O.R. We need to take her now.” This is the male voice
dictating directions over Ella. “We need to stop this bleeding
yesterday people,” he growls, tearing off his gloves and letting
them drop to the already littered white vinyl floor. They hurriedly
snap the sides of Ella’s bed in place.
    “ Just
bring it all,” he barks impatiently, pulling the bed towards a set
of imposing white doors with glass panels in the top quarter. “And
DO NOT let go of that FOOT.” The last of his words are lost to the
laborious swing of the heavy wood they took a third of my heart
through.
    “ Again. No. I said again.” This demand is from Mattie’s
doctor. “Don’t you dare stop CPR.” The whining builds and I know
what comes next. The jolt I feel from across the room piercing red
hot through my heart.
    “ Clear,” she calls desperately. The electrical current arcs
its way through my baby’s body. She falls limp. They all stop and
listen hard, as though they can all hear through the doctor’s
stethoscope. “CPR. Charge.”
    “ Avery it’s been-”
    “ Charge.”
    A dreadful
suffocating sensation fills my senses, my legs go limp and I feel
my body dropping in slow motion to the floor, dragging Jon and Luke
down with me.
    “ Clear.”
    The jolt chips
at my heart and sends my head snapping into Jon’s jaw. He doesn’t
even react to the hit.
    Mattie’s limp,
unresponsive.
    “ Avery.” A mature voice sounds from far away.
    “ No-”
    “ Avery, it’s time. You need to call it.”
    The doctor
hovering over my baby straightens; her posture becomes rigid for a
moment, before drooping in defeat. Her back’s to me so I can’t see
the expression on her face, but hear her inhale deeply. She snaps
her gloves off and throws them harshly to the floor, then turns so
I can see her profile. She looks upwards while taking a sidewards
step away from the cot.
    She rests her
hands on her hips and lowers her head, “Time of death…” Another
deep breath. I’m silently begging her not to say it. Please don’t
say those words.
    “ Time
of death,” she repeats in a pained whisper.
    Please don’t say them… please.
    “… Fifteen twenty hours.”
    The doctor
finally turns in our direction, her dark brown doe eyes widening in
surprise. I don’t think she knew we were in the room, witnessing,
watching, and slowly dying on the inside. Pausing briefly before
walking to us, she spares a hard stare at the nurse that brought us
here.
    “ The
whole time?” she questions disbelievingly. Out of the corner of my
eye I see the young nurse nod once in response. “We’ll discuss this
later.”
    Crouching down
to be at my eye level, the doctor’s coffee coloured cheeks
glistening under the harsh fluorescent lights. “I am sorry for your
loss,” she begins sounding almost genuine and not overly rehearsed.
“We did everything in our power, but...” she sighs, then shifts her
body weight so she is blocking out the scene continuing on behind
her, “it just wasn’t enough today. I’m so very sorry.” Her lips
press tightly and brows rise as though she is fighting back tears
while studying my face. I hear Jon sob, his shoulders shaking
against my side with every deep, silent gut-wrenching release and I
know I should be reacting too, but the poor woman in front of me
looks so shattered I’m afraid if I break, she is going to break
too, and I can’t have that. I can’t deal with her pain