MA08 Myth-Nomers and Im-Pervections Read Online Free PDF

contact, the driver’s hand lashed out and smashed down on the toy stuffed goose that was taped down in front of him. The thing let out a harsh, tremendous “HONK!!” that would have gotten it named king of the geese if they ever held an election.
    “Anyway, that’s what I’m talkin’ about.” The driver finished and turned his attention forward again.
    The traffic jam had miraculously melted away before he had finished speaking, and we sailed through the intersection unscathed.
    “Relax, Skeeve,” Kalvin laughed. “This guy’s a professional.”
    “A professional what?” I muttered.
    “How’s that?” the driver said, starting to turn again.
    “NOTHING! I ... nothing.”
    I had been unimpressed with the taxi since it had picked us up. Actually, ‘picked us up’ is much too mild a phrase and doesn’t begin to convey what had actually happened.
    Following Kalvin’s instructions, I had stepped to the curb and raised my hand.
    “Like this?” I said, making the mistake of turning my head to ask him directly.
    Facing away from the street, I missed what happened next, which is probably just as well. The normal traffic din suddenly erupted with shrieks and crashes. Startled, I jerked my hand back and jumped sideways to a spot a safer distance from the street. By the time I focused on the scene, most of the noise and the action had ceased.
    Traffic was backed up behind the vehicle crouched at the curb beside us, and the blocked drivers were leaning out to shout and/or shake their fists threateningly. There may have been a few collisions, but the condition of most of the vehicles on the street was such that I couldn’t be certain which damages were new and which were scars from earlier skirmishes.
    “That’s right,” Kalvin said, apparently unruffled by the mayhem which had just transpired. “Get in.”
    “You’re kidding!”
    The vehicle which had stopped for us was not one to inspire confidence. It was sort of a box-like contraption hanging between two low-slung, tailless lizards. The reptiles had blindfolds wrapped around their head obscuring their eyes, but they kept casting from side to side while their tongues lashed in and out questing for data on their surroundings. Simply put, they looked powerful and hungry enough for me to want to keep my distance.
    “Maybe we should wait for another one,” I suggested hopefully.
    “Get in,” the Djin ordered. “If we block traffic too long the cop will be back.”
    That was sufficient incentive for me, and I bravely entered the box and took a seat behind the driver, Kalvin never leaving my shoulder. The interior of the box seemed safe enough. There were two seats in the rear where I was sitting, and another beside the driver, although the latter seemed filled to overflowing with papers and boxes that would occasionally spill to the floor when we took a corner too fast ... which was always. There were notes and pictures pinned and taped to the walls and ceiling in a halo around the driver, and a confusing array of dials and switches on the panel in front of him. Basically, one had the suspicion the driver lived in his vehicle, which was vaguely reassuring. I mean, the man wouldn’t do anything to endanger his own home, would he?
    “Where to?” the driver said, casually forcing his vehicle back into the flow of traffic.
    “Um, just take me to a hotel.”
    “Expensive ... cheap ... what?”
    “Oh, something moderate, maybe a bit on the inexpensive side.”
    “Right.”
    I was actually pretty well set financially. A money belt around my waist had over two thousand in gold I had brought along to cover expenses on my search. Still, there was no sense throwing it away needlessly, and I figured since I didn’t plan to spend much time in my room, I wouldn’t need anything particularly grand.
    Within the first few blocks, however, I had pause to reconsider the wisdom of my choice of vehicles. As far as I could tell, the lizards were blindfolded to prevent