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Now out with it. What’s happened?”
    Sitting on the steps to the throne, I filled her in about the forth-coming wedding and my suspicions about the king’s conveniently scheduled vacation. I tried to sound casual and matter-of-fact about it, but towards the end my tone got rather flat.
    When I was done, Massha gave a low whistle of sympathy.
    “When you big leaguers get in trouble, you don’t kid around, do you? Now that you’ve filled me in, I’ll admit I’m a little surprised you’re still here.”
    I grimaced.
    “I’m a little slow from time to time, but you only have to lecture me once. If one day without a king is bad for a kingdom, a permanent disappearance could be disastrous. Anyway, what I need right now is someone to track down the real king and get him back here, while I keep bluffing from the throne.”
    Massha scowled.
    “Well, I’ve got a little trinket that could track him, if you’ve got something around that he’s worn, that is ...”
    “Are you kidding? You think court magicians dress this way in Possiltum? Everything I’m wearing and two more closet-fulls in his quarters belong to the king.”
    “But what I can’t figure out is why you need me? Where’s your usual partner ... whatshisname ... Aahz? It seems to me he’d be your first choice for a job like this. Wherever he is, can’t you just pop over to that dimension and pull him back for a while?”
    Lacking any other option, I decided to resort to the truth, both about Aahz’s permanent departure and my own lack of ability to travel the dimensions without a D-Hopper. When I was done, Massha was shaking her head.
    “So you’re all alone and stranded here and you were still going to give me an out instead of pressuring me into helping? Well, you got my help, Mister, and you don’t have to bribe me with an apprenticeship, either. I’ll get your king back for you ... before that wedding. Then we’ll talk about apprentices.”
    I shook my head.
    “Right idea, but wrong order. I wasn’t going to bribe you with an apprenticeship, Massha. I told you before I don’t know much magic, but what I know I’ll be glad to teach you ... whether you find the King or not. I’m not sure that’s an apprenticeship, but it’s yours if you want it.”
    She smiled a smile quite different from her usual vamp act.
    “We’ll argue about it later. Right now, I’ve got a king to find.”
    “Wait a minute! Before you go, you’re pretty good with gadgets, right? Well, I’ve got a D-Hopper in my quarters. I want you to show me two settings: the one for Deva, and the one for Klah. You see, I’m not all that noble. If things get too rough or it takes you longer than a week to find the king, I want a little running room. If I’m not here when you get back, you can look for your ‘noble’ Skeeve at the Yellow Crescent Inn at the Bazaar at Deva.”
    Massha snorted.
    “You’re putting yourself down again, Hot Stuff. You’re going to try before you run, which is more than I can say for most in our profession. Besides, whatever you think your motives are, they’re deeper than you think. You just asked me to show you two settings. You only need one to run.”

I HAD LONG since decided that the main requirement for Royalty or its impersonators was immunity to boredom. Having already chronicled the true tedious nature of performing so-called “duties of state,” I can only add that waiting to perform them is even worse.
    There was certainly no rush on my part to meet the king’s bride-to-be, much less marry her. After word had come that her arrival would be delayed by a full day, however, and as the day waxed into late afternoon waiting for her “early morning” reception, I found myself wishing that she would get here so we could meet and get it over with already.
    All other royal activity had ground to a halt in an effort to emphasize the importance of Possiltum’s greeting their bride-to-be. I hardly thought it was necessary, though, as the