saying that my bloodstained uncle John did not approve of you.'
'Exactly. He didn't actually call me a waster- ’
'He did me. Frequently.'
'But his manner was sticky. He said that before giving his consent to the match he would like to know how I earned my living. I told him I didn't earn my living because a recent aunt had left me three hundred thousand quid in gilt-edged securities.'
'You had him there.'
'I thought so, too. But no. He simply looked puff-faced and said that he would never allow his daughter to marry a man who had no earning capacity.'
'I know those words. An earning capacity was what he was always beefing about me not having. He used to say: "Look at your brother Ambrose with his steady position at the Admiralty, and devoting his leisure time to writing novels which, while I have not read them myself ..." I say, talking of Am ’ brose, the most amazing thing has happened.'
'Shall I go on?' said Monty, a little coldly.
'Oh, rather,' said Reggie. 'Yes, do. Only I must tell you about Ambrose later. You'll be astounded.'
Monty was looking out at the flying landscape with a frown on his agreeable face. Thinking of J. G. Butterwick always made him frown. In his heart, he had always hoped that the other's sciatica would not yield to treatment.
'Where,' he asked, coming out of his dark thoughts, 'had I got to? ’
'The earning capacity gag. ’
'Ah, yes. He said he would never allow Gertrude to marry a man without an earning capacity, so all bets were off unless I proved myself, as he called it, by getting a job and holding it down for a year.'
'Barmy. I've often thought so. But surely Gertrude didn't stand for rot like that?'
'She did. Naturally my first step was to urge her to pack a suitcase and slide round the corner with me to the registrar's or Gretna Green or somewhere. But would she? No. Not a trace of the modern spirit did she exhibit. Said she loved me devotedly, but flatly refused to marry me until the aged parent had hoisted the All Right flag.'
'You don't mean that ! '
‘ I do.'
'I didn't know there were girls like that nowadays. ’ ‘ Nor did I.'
'Sounds like something out of a three-volume novel. ’ 'Quite.'
Reggie pondered.
'It's an unpleasant thing to say about anyone,' he said, 'but the fact of the matter is, Gertrude's the soul of honour. I be ’ lieve it comes from playing hockey. What did you do?'
‘ I got a job.'
‘You?' ‘ Yes. ’
‘ You couldn't have done. ’
‘ I did. I worked it through my Uncle Gregory, who knew Lord Tilbury, who runs the Mammoth Publishing Company. He wangled me the assistant editorship of Tiny Tots, a journal for the Nursery and the Home. I got fired.'
‘ Of course. And then -?'
‘ Uncle Gregory got Lord Emsworth to take me on as his secretary at Blandings Castle. I got fired.' 'Naturally. And then -?'
'Well, then I took matters into my own hands. I ran into a fellow named Pilbeam, who owns a Private Inquiry Agency, and finding that he employed skilled assistants got him to make me one.'
Reggie stared..
'Private Inquiry Agency? Do you mean one of those detec tive things?' ‘ That's right.'
‘ You aren't telling me you're a ruddy sleuth? ’ That's right.'
'What, Maharajah's rubies and measuring bloodstains and all that sort of thing?'
'Well, as a matter of fact,' said Monty, becoming more specific, 'they don't give me a great deal to do. I'm simply down on the books as a skilled assistant. You see, what happened was that I told Pilbeam I would give him a thousand quid if he would take me on, and we did business on those lines.'
'But my uncle John doesn't know that?'
'No.'
·All he knows is that you have got a job and are holding it down? ’ 'Yes.'
Reggie was mystified.
'Well, if you ask me, it seems to me that that sounds extraordinarily like the happy ending. Whether a chap is, or is not, a mug to cough up a thousand pounds simply in order to marry my cousin Gertrude is a point into which we need not go. The price
'Exactly. He didn't actually call me a waster- ’
'He did me. Frequently.'
'But his manner was sticky. He said that before giving his consent to the match he would like to know how I earned my living. I told him I didn't earn my living because a recent aunt had left me three hundred thousand quid in gilt-edged securities.'
'You had him there.'
'I thought so, too. But no. He simply looked puff-faced and said that he would never allow his daughter to marry a man who had no earning capacity.'
'I know those words. An earning capacity was what he was always beefing about me not having. He used to say: "Look at your brother Ambrose with his steady position at the Admiralty, and devoting his leisure time to writing novels which, while I have not read them myself ..." I say, talking of Am ’ brose, the most amazing thing has happened.'
'Shall I go on?' said Monty, a little coldly.
'Oh, rather,' said Reggie. 'Yes, do. Only I must tell you about Ambrose later. You'll be astounded.'
Monty was looking out at the flying landscape with a frown on his agreeable face. Thinking of J. G. Butterwick always made him frown. In his heart, he had always hoped that the other's sciatica would not yield to treatment.
'Where,' he asked, coming out of his dark thoughts, 'had I got to? ’
'The earning capacity gag. ’
'Ah, yes. He said he would never allow Gertrude to marry a man without an earning capacity, so all bets were off unless I proved myself, as he called it, by getting a job and holding it down for a year.'
'Barmy. I've often thought so. But surely Gertrude didn't stand for rot like that?'
'She did. Naturally my first step was to urge her to pack a suitcase and slide round the corner with me to the registrar's or Gretna Green or somewhere. But would she? No. Not a trace of the modern spirit did she exhibit. Said she loved me devotedly, but flatly refused to marry me until the aged parent had hoisted the All Right flag.'
'You don't mean that ! '
‘ I do.'
'I didn't know there were girls like that nowadays. ’ ‘ Nor did I.'
'Sounds like something out of a three-volume novel. ’ 'Quite.'
Reggie pondered.
'It's an unpleasant thing to say about anyone,' he said, 'but the fact of the matter is, Gertrude's the soul of honour. I be ’ lieve it comes from playing hockey. What did you do?'
‘ I got a job.'
‘You?' ‘ Yes. ’
‘ You couldn't have done. ’
‘ I did. I worked it through my Uncle Gregory, who knew Lord Tilbury, who runs the Mammoth Publishing Company. He wangled me the assistant editorship of Tiny Tots, a journal for the Nursery and the Home. I got fired.'
‘ Of course. And then -?'
‘ Uncle Gregory got Lord Emsworth to take me on as his secretary at Blandings Castle. I got fired.' 'Naturally. And then -?'
'Well, then I took matters into my own hands. I ran into a fellow named Pilbeam, who owns a Private Inquiry Agency, and finding that he employed skilled assistants got him to make me one.'
Reggie stared..
'Private Inquiry Agency? Do you mean one of those detec tive things?' ‘ That's right.'
‘ You aren't telling me you're a ruddy sleuth? ’ That's right.'
'What, Maharajah's rubies and measuring bloodstains and all that sort of thing?'
'Well, as a matter of fact,' said Monty, becoming more specific, 'they don't give me a great deal to do. I'm simply down on the books as a skilled assistant. You see, what happened was that I told Pilbeam I would give him a thousand quid if he would take me on, and we did business on those lines.'
'But my uncle John doesn't know that?'
'No.'
·All he knows is that you have got a job and are holding it down? ’ 'Yes.'
Reggie was mystified.
'Well, if you ask me, it seems to me that that sounds extraordinarily like the happy ending. Whether a chap is, or is not, a mug to cough up a thousand pounds simply in order to marry my cousin Gertrude is a point into which we need not go. The price
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