the grandpoops over the pond, and I just…I want more. I want to do things I haven’t done before and see things, and I want to do them knowing that I can do them without you or one of the girls holding my hand, protecting me from the big bad world.”
“So move in with Dot!” she insists, taking a stool across from me and sliding a cup of cocoa my way.
I accept and do not point out that it’s getting hot enough to fry eggs on the sidewalk. Percy loves the stuff and she makes it so good, you’d drink her concoction in the desert even.
“No, I do not want to move in with Dot. I want to live by myself, in my own place where I am responsible for things, Percy.”
Namely my baby.
I have planned this out to a bloody tee and I’ve done all the research. I’m going for IVF and I’ll use a donor to get what I want.
It’s pretty cool, too. I get to research the men and choose from the best. One guy I’ve been eyeing is a physicist who also enjoys outdoorsy activities and has sandy-blond hair and blue eyes.
Yes, yes, I know. Freddie has those features too, and blah, blah, blah…
“But you’ll be all alone.”
I won’t be. Not for long anyway, I muse, biting my lips to restrain a smile.
“Percy, my darling, get over your mama bear feelings and move on already. I am doing this with or without your consent. Now then, tell me about that hunk of hotness I saw creeping out at four this morning. Was all that yelling for a reason, or did the two of you open a portal to the afterlife last night?” I tease, enjoying her blush and bawdy giggle.
“He knew what to do with what God gave him.”
My giggle and eye roll have her cackling and I enjoy the mirth till she gets serious again and looks at me in a soft and altogether motherly way. It’s always been like this with us.
Dot and Callie gelled and formed their clique within the group. Indie and Percy with their abrasive personalities and adventurous spirits formed their own, and I was just sort of the floater in that pot.
Percy, love her to death, saw that as her in to molly coddle me to death because though I was more with her and Indie, I wasn’t quite with them all the way.
Somehow she interpreted that as her chance to baby me and try to always include me. It’s great at times, but sometimes it makes me feel like I’m sitting in the bloody principal’s office for an infraction.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you lately since you won’t talk to anyone and I don’t know if what you’re doing is a good or bad thing, but I do know that I’ll be behind you one hundred percent. Just promise me, Luci, swear to me that you’re not still messed up about that idiot and that you’re doing this for you and not to shut yourself away like you usually do when things get hard.”
“I swear it. This isn’t about Freddie Cage. This is just me wanting to spread my wings a little. And maybe do something for Dotty. Why don’t you and Indie talk to her and see if she’ll give up her place and move in here. She doesn’t do well alone.”
“Aw, but she likes watching those sappy movies. And she cries during commercials.”
“You know you love that about her. Besides, she cooks at home, you know, and she’s a laundry whizz. Callie still moans about her clothes not smelling right after she moved in with and married Jack.”
That seems to perk her up quickly and by the time I’ve reworked the lease and signed on the dotted line I know that things will go just as I want them to.
***
“Okay, Miss Braxton, I think that ought to do it. We’ll get everything ready for the implantation next week.”
My breath is choppy, giddy as Dr. Sparks smiles at me and leans in to shake my hand as I fight not to hop around like a five-year-old in a candy store.
It’s been two months of living on my own and taking those damnable hormones, but I’ve finally reached the stage where they’ll implant the embryo thingies.
I’m one step closer to being a mom and I am