Love and Robotics Read Online Free PDF

famous when I haven’t done anything?”
                                “You’d be amazed how little that counts. Anyway, don’t turn your back on the Queen -”
    “What’s wrong with my back?”
    “I don’t think we’re getting anywhere. Use the rest of the day for being less annoying.”
    He stared at her office door as it shut in his face. “I was only asking.”
    The door opposite sidled open. He sighed. “Hello, Dr Fisk.”
    “How many times have I asked you to call me Julia?”
    Fisk stood in the doorway, licking her lips. It happened whenever she caught him alone. She stared wolfishly, he looked at the floor. Silence spooled between them.
    “Sorry, Julia.” It tasted wrong.
    “Is something worrying you? The launch?”
    “No.” He met her eye. “I’m looking forward to it.”
    A desiccated hand patted his. “My door is always open.”
    He sensed her eyes following him. He wasn’t comfortable till he was four floors away.
     
    Perplexing though these differences were, they didn’t swamp his primary concern: Alfred was coming to see him. Whenever he heard a vix he went to the window to look, but a tall red haired figure never climbed out.
                  One afternoon he was at a loose end. He wandered downstairs to the Pond, where the lines were busier than usual.
                  “Josh!” Madge waved him over. “Fancy adding a string to your bow?”
    “I suppose so - ”
    She pushed a brochure into his hands. “The new Home Butler was released last week and we’ve had nothing but complaints. It hasn’t turned up, it keeps shutting down. Between you and me, it’s shite, but we’re not allowed to say that.”
    The Butler looked like a standard functional, its only concessions to humanity a sketchy face and bow tie. It was shown performing a range of tasks: mowing the lawn, mixing a cocktail, loading the washing machine. It chatted about a range of topics, helped children with schoolwork and protected your home with its “handy surveillance system!”
    “Why don’t people keep their old ones?” Josh asked.
    “They like the latest gadgets.”
    “Would you get one?”
    “Nah, because I know what pains in the arse bots can be. Present company excepted. Are you up for it?”
    “Sorry?”
    “Talking to these miserable sods.”
    “I don’t know anything about customer service -”
    “Make sympathetic noises. If they moan, tell them to piss off.” Before he could protest, Madge shoved a bulb in his ear and pressed Available.
    A querulous voice came on the line. “I demand to speak to the CEO!”
    “I’m sorry, he’s playing golf. Is there anything I can do?”
    He took four calls, all complaints. He tried to follow Madge’s advice but it wasn’t easy. Nobody seemed to be listening. “It’s nice to finally speak to a human!” they kept saying.
    “I need a drink.” Somebody fetched him a coffee. “If they want your help, why are they so rude?”
    “It’s why we call them cuntstomers -”
    “Dean!” Madge scolded.
    “What?”
    “Don’t swear in front of Josh.”
    “He’ll hear it sooner or later.”
    “Yeah, but when Fisky asks where -”
    “Fair dos.”
    “Are you ready to take another call?” Madge asked. “It’d really help.”
    This latest customer was the worst. She kept interrupting, seized on the most innocuous phrases - “ Should ? You will -” and threatened to dump her Home Butler on CER’s doorstep if somebody didn’t collect it that evening.
    “I’m sorry, madam, we won’t -”
    “Madam? Do I look like I run a brothel?”
    “You might run a brothel. Is it the sort of thing you would do?” This remark, reasonable to his ears, made her gurgle with rage.
    A roar of laughter. “Now there’s a satisfied customer.”
    He only knew one person with a voice like that: hoarse but musical, like a good singer with a sore throat. He pressed the Release button and grinned at Alfred.
    “Hello! What are you