Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 05 Read Online Free PDF Page A

wear a furry bonnet in cold weather, I don’t think much of her chances of survival on her survival-type course.
    Still, that is life.
    Or in her case, death.
    She was still going “Brrr brr,” but I didn’t let it spoil my peachy mood.
    â€œJas, guess what? Something très très magnifique has happened at last.”
    â€œBrrr.”
    â€œShut up brrring , Jas.”
    I got out my aerogramme.
    â€œLook, it’s from SG.”
    â€œWhat does it say?”
    â€œI don’t know.”
    â€œWhy not?”
    â€œBecause I haven’t opened it yet. I am savoring it.”
    â€œIt’s not a pie.”
    â€œI know that, Jas. Please don’t annoy me. I don’t want to have to beat you within an inch of your life so early in the day.”
    We trudged up the hill to Stalag 14. But I had a song in my heart.
    â€œJas, I have a song in my heart, and do you know what it is?”
    But she just ran off into the cloakroom to sit on the knicker toaster (radiator) for a few minutes to thaw out.
    Still, I did have a song in my heart called “I Have a Letter from a Sex God in My Bumbag.”
    assembly
    Slim told us exciting news this morning. Elvis Attwood, the most bonkers man in Christendom and part-time caretaker, is retiring. We started cheering but had to change our cheering into a sort of “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” thing because Hawkeye was giving us her ferret eye. Slim was rambling on in her jelloid way, chins shaking like billio.
    â€œSo, as a special thank you for all the magnificent work Mr. Attwood has put in over the years, wewill be having a going-away party for him. We will have music and so on, and perhaps Mr. Attwood will show us how to ‘get with it,’ as you girls say.”
    She laughed like a ninny. Get with it? What in the name of her enormous undergarments is she raving on about? The last time Elvis did any dancing he had to be taken to the casualty department. So every cloud has a silver lining.
    Â 
    I said to the ace gang as we trailed out of Assembly to R.E., “What started out as a schiessenhausen day has turned out to be a groovy gravy day.”
    I am looking forward to R.E. because whilst everyone has their little snooze I can read my letter from the beloved.
    r.e.
    We all snuggled down at the back. Ro Ro is knitting something for the teenage werewolf party. I think it might be a full-length beard. Jools was doing her cuticles and Jas was reading her wilderness manual. She loves it because it has lots of photos of girlie swots building incomprehensible things out of twigs. Anyway, time to read my letter.Miss Wilson was beginning to ramble on about World Peace and asking us for our views. I don’t want to have to answer anything, I just want her to soothingly write stuff on the board or rave on. So I put my hand up. That startled her. I said, “Miss Wilson I have been very troubled in my mind.”
    That started Rosie off in uncontrollable sniggering. Miss Wilson looked at me through her owly glasses. She is the most strangely put together person I have ever come across. Where does she get her clothes from? Did you know that you could get dresses made out of felt with matching booties for grown-ups? She has clearly been to the circus shop that Slim buys her wrinkly elephant tights from.
    Anyway, Miss Wilson was vair vair interested in my troubled mind.
    â€œIs it something of a theological nature, Georgia?”
    â€œYes indeedy, Miss Wilson. This is what is troubling me. If God is, you know, impotent…”
    Miss Wilson went sensationally red, so now her head matched her booties.
    â€œWell…er…Georgia, erm, impotent means not being able to have any children…I rather think you mean omnipotent .”
    â€œWhatever. Well, if He is, does that mean that He is with you even when you are in the lavatory?”
    Miss Wilson started rambling on about God not being really a bloke like other