Lost Voices Read Online Free PDF Page B

on the outskirts of Minneapolis, and the window was white with falling snow. She was half daydreaming and half watching a dance contest on TV while her father paced around the room talking on his cell phone. Sometimes he’d wander back toward the bathroom, like there was something he didn’t want Luce to overhear. On the TV a woman in black sequins kicked her leg high and arched her back until her long hair brushed the floor. Luce’s own dark hair had just been cropped, short and spiky: what her father called a pixie cut. “It suits your otherworldly beauty,” he’d told her, which made it hard for Luce to argue with him. “And besides, this way we won’t have to keep messing with trying to get the tangles out.”
    Now she knew he was talking to his brother, Peter, far away in Alaska. It was one of the few states Luce had never been to, and she’d never met Peter, but she knew talking to him usually put her father into a glum mood. “No, you do have a point there, Peter,” Luce heard her father say. “You absolutely do.” There was silence for a while. “You think I ever stop thinking about that! Look, I’m well aware that I could have done better by her mother. I’m well aware. We were a hundred miles from the nearest town when the van broke down. You think I should have tried to operate on her myself?” Luce barely remembered her mother, but it hurt her to hear the ache in her father’s voice. She rolled onto her side and watched the dancing snow, how the white swirls almost canceled out the 28 i LOST VOICES
    world behind. She could just make out the cloudy shape of the motel’s big blue sign.
    “No, I am not determined to live my whole life repeating the same mistakes!” There was another silence. “School’s a waste for some kids,” he snapped. “You should see how fine a job Luce is doing educating her own self. The books that girl reads!” Her father was pacing faster, smacking the mustard- colored walls with his free hand. “Peter, you’ve made your point. You’ve already made it. You can stop now, all right? Yeah, and thank you for your offer. It’s appreciated.”
    Luce was relieved to hear the phone snapping shut, but when she looked over at her father she could see how he was still struggling to calm himself. His head hung, and he clutched at the wall. As Luce watched he sighed, carefully straightened himself, and forced his mouth into a big smile. Only when the smile was in place did he turn to look at her. “Baby doll?” he said to her. He was trying hard to sound cheerful, but Luce could hear the crack in his voice. “You ever think it might be time for you and me to try settling down somewhere?” Luce shook her head. “I like traveling with you.” Her father sat down next to her and ruffled her spiky hair.
    “Oh, I like it too, doll. And you’re a real trooper. But I can’t help thinking sometimes that maybe it’s not the best life for you.” He couldn’t keep the smile together anymore, and his voice was so mournful that Luce sat up and threw her arms around him.
    “Peter’s saying he can find me work on the boats this spring.
    Pays good. And we can live at his place until we save enough to get our own. You know you’ve never even seen my hometown.” He gave Luce a sad smile. “We’ll get you going to school as a regu-i 29
    lar thing. And you should maybe have more of a normal social life than just hanging around with your old dad all the time.”
    “You hate Peter!” Luce objected. “And he’s always so horrible to you.”
    “I do not hate him! He’s my brother. That kind of bond goes deeper than, you know, whatever trouble we’ve had. Just more like there’s a personality conflict.” He looked at the snow. “He’s doing his best to help us, Lucette. It’s generous of him. More than I’ve got any right to expect, after everything.” He tried to smile again, but it came out slanted and strange. “Not that any man in his correct mind wouldn’t have