some distance between us.
I paused before I rounded the corner. Something inside me clenched with the thought of leaving her there. I just stared at her, having no idea how I felt or what I wanted to say. Finally I said, “Lock up behind me, okay, Elizabeth?”
Confusion fluttered across her face, and then she smiled with a little wave of her hand. “Of course. Good night, Christian.”
I nodded once in her direction and turned the corner, and Elizabeth disappeared behind me. I flew down the stairwell and out into the heavy night air. It was still hot, the skin at the nape of my neck beading with sweat that I wasn’t positive had anything to do with the humidity hanging in the air.
I just didn’t understand this, had no idea what I was feeling. I didn’t know if I should embrace it or run from it.
On Monday at the café, I couldn’t help but think Elizabeth was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. I’d flirted, messed with her, coaxed the shyness from her because it was just so freaking cute. I knew I wanted something more than I normally did from a girl, that I wanted to know her and see that smile light her face.
But tonight—tonight was entirely different. Tonight she had made me feel different .
I mean, yeah, I wanted her. Badly. I’d had a really hard time keeping the images at bay, ones of wrapping my hands around her thighs and tugging her away from the wall. I could almost hear her book hitting the floor when I shoved it aside and pressed her body into the bed with mine.
It’s what came naturally, what I would normally do, the instinct I had to reach out and take what I wanted.
She’d voiced it, made it clear we weren’t crossing that line, but I didn’t miss the way she reacted to me. Part of her wanted me, too.
But there was something that hung in that room that held me back, something in the softness of her eyes and in the sweetness of her voice.
Elizabeth had to be the most transparent, good girl I’d ever met in my life.
I couldn’t—wouldn’t—take advantage of that. It made me sick to think of tainting her. Knowing me, I’d take what I wanted, get bored, and push her aside. I wouldn’t mean to, but I’d hurt her, and I couldn’t stand the thought.
She asked me to be her friend, and I wasn’t going to fuck that up by giving into the overwhelming urge I had to touch her.
I could deal with it.
Elizabeth could see through all my bullshit, anyway. A sarcastic huff escaped my mouth. I was sorely underestimating Elizabeth. The girl could probably see straight into my soul.
Chances were, she wouldn’t let me touch her if I tried.
With a mumbled groan, I rubbed the tension from my face and dug my cell from my front pocket. Tom was on speed dial, and he answered on the second ring.
“Hey, man, what’s up?” Tom yelled over the deafening background noise. Music thrummed above the roar of indistinct voices. It sounded like the perfect escape.
“Just wondering what’s happening tonight.”
“We’re all at Sam’s. You headin’ over?”
“Count me in. I’ll be there in twenty.”
Elizabeth only lived about a ten-minute walk from my apartment. Those minutes were spent defining what Elizabeth and I were.
I’d never had that in my life, someone who I truly felt comfortable with. Someone who made me feel exposed, and somehow I was still okay with that fact. Someone to share my secrets and my desires and the goals I had in my life with—the ones people saw weren’t always mine, but ambitions created by my parents and the society they expected me to fit into.
The crazy thing was, I wanted to know hers, too. Elizabeth Ayers had to be the coolest girl who’d ever walked this world. I wanted to see inside her the way she saw inside me, to listen when she talked about her mom and her sisters, to experience a life like that through her eyes—to see life the way Elizabeth saw it.
She was...refreshing.
At my building, I took the stairs two at a time and let myself into
I paused before I rounded the corner. Something inside me clenched with the thought of leaving her there. I just stared at her, having no idea how I felt or what I wanted to say. Finally I said, “Lock up behind me, okay, Elizabeth?”
Confusion fluttered across her face, and then she smiled with a little wave of her hand. “Of course. Good night, Christian.”
I nodded once in her direction and turned the corner, and Elizabeth disappeared behind me. I flew down the stairwell and out into the heavy night air. It was still hot, the skin at the nape of my neck beading with sweat that I wasn’t positive had anything to do with the humidity hanging in the air.
I just didn’t understand this, had no idea what I was feeling. I didn’t know if I should embrace it or run from it.
On Monday at the café, I couldn’t help but think Elizabeth was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. I’d flirted, messed with her, coaxed the shyness from her because it was just so freaking cute. I knew I wanted something more than I normally did from a girl, that I wanted to know her and see that smile light her face.
But tonight—tonight was entirely different. Tonight she had made me feel different .
I mean, yeah, I wanted her. Badly. I’d had a really hard time keeping the images at bay, ones of wrapping my hands around her thighs and tugging her away from the wall. I could almost hear her book hitting the floor when I shoved it aside and pressed her body into the bed with mine.
It’s what came naturally, what I would normally do, the instinct I had to reach out and take what I wanted.
She’d voiced it, made it clear we weren’t crossing that line, but I didn’t miss the way she reacted to me. Part of her wanted me, too.
But there was something that hung in that room that held me back, something in the softness of her eyes and in the sweetness of her voice.
Elizabeth had to be the most transparent, good girl I’d ever met in my life.
I couldn’t—wouldn’t—take advantage of that. It made me sick to think of tainting her. Knowing me, I’d take what I wanted, get bored, and push her aside. I wouldn’t mean to, but I’d hurt her, and I couldn’t stand the thought.
She asked me to be her friend, and I wasn’t going to fuck that up by giving into the overwhelming urge I had to touch her.
I could deal with it.
Elizabeth could see through all my bullshit, anyway. A sarcastic huff escaped my mouth. I was sorely underestimating Elizabeth. The girl could probably see straight into my soul.
Chances were, she wouldn’t let me touch her if I tried.
With a mumbled groan, I rubbed the tension from my face and dug my cell from my front pocket. Tom was on speed dial, and he answered on the second ring.
“Hey, man, what’s up?” Tom yelled over the deafening background noise. Music thrummed above the roar of indistinct voices. It sounded like the perfect escape.
“Just wondering what’s happening tonight.”
“We’re all at Sam’s. You headin’ over?”
“Count me in. I’ll be there in twenty.”
Elizabeth only lived about a ten-minute walk from my apartment. Those minutes were spent defining what Elizabeth and I were.
I’d never had that in my life, someone who I truly felt comfortable with. Someone who made me feel exposed, and somehow I was still okay with that fact. Someone to share my secrets and my desires and the goals I had in my life with—the ones people saw weren’t always mine, but ambitions created by my parents and the society they expected me to fit into.
The crazy thing was, I wanted to know hers, too. Elizabeth Ayers had to be the coolest girl who’d ever walked this world. I wanted to see inside her the way she saw inside me, to listen when she talked about her mom and her sisters, to experience a life like that through her eyes—to see life the way Elizabeth saw it.
She was...refreshing.
At my building, I took the stairs two at a time and let myself into
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