Lost Dreams Read Online Free PDF Page B

be okay, but it was tough to see my buddies in pain.
    I knew I was on patrol at 1800HRS and I had to be awake and alert. I went back to my bunk and took a nap. I hated taking naps because I thought they were a waste of time, but I needed it. This tour of duty felt different and I had a gut feeling that I needed to be mentally prepared for anything.
    Seeing those injured men had reminded me of Avery when she was injured. It was the worst time of my life. She'd moaned in agony for hours before she was drugged to ease the pain. I cried myself to sleep that night, thanking God for keeping her alive.
    "Lewis, we're leaving in five minutes."
    "Shit." My head was still pounding. I didn’t want to get off the bunk, but I had a job to do. I stretched out quickly and met the guys outside.
    Remy was his usual happy self, ready for our patrol. This guy had the strongest positive attitude I'd ever seen. I knew he missed home and Avery and he found it just as hard to be back here as I did, but I never heard him complain. We were all worried about what happened last night. We had to expect the unexpected, but Remy had a great attitude and he was good at boosting our team spirit. Remy's attitude to life was admirable.
    The night was quiet and dark and the moon was just a sliver of silver in the sky. Nothing happened during our watch, no sounds, no movement, which I much preferred to being bombarded by militants, but the night seemed to be endless. The other guys were talking about football and soccer but I didn’t have an interest in the discussion.
    To stay awake, I wrote another letter to Avery. I wanted to talk to her so badly and I would have given anything to be able to call her. I missed her voice and I needed to know how she was doing. I suspected that she would also be having a hard time. Our last morning together had been very emotional and the memory of the tears rolling down her cheeks and her trembling lip played on my mind. I'd told her it wasn’t a goodbye, because it really wasn’t. We were going to be reunited soon. I kissed her one last time and she'd gripped my shirt like she was holding on for her life. I told her I loved her at least three times before I left. I wanted to look back but I didn’t. I knew that if I saw her beautiful face one more time, I wouldn’t have been able to leave.
    "Carter, this is going to be the worst deployment of your life, if you don’t stop moping around. This is not like you. Come on, man!" Remy tried to cheer me up. "It's okay to miss her, but this is our job, this is who we are."
    I hated to admit it, but he was right. I wasn’t myself. "I know. This time seems different." I covered my face, trying to rub away my ominous thoughts. "It’s being a married man now, being away from Avery is making me crazy." I smiled.
    Remy laughed. "You're unbelievable. You've been with her for over ten years."
    "What do you know about love anyway?" I retorted. That was a low blow on my part.
    His smile disappeared. "I was in love once... never again." My words had hurt him, and I knew I'd been a complete asshole.
    "Sorry, brother, I didn’t mean it. I wish you could find her. I don’t know who she is but she clearly hurt you."
    "She did, but it wasn't intentional." I knew he wouldn’t say more about her. He never did. "Don't worry about me. It's fine, it was a long time ago." I knew that talking about her was not possible for him.
    He left after our quick, but painful conversation, heading off to talk to Jason and Gregory. He was already back to his usual happy mood. The way he acted was like a switch that he could so easily turn off. I wished I had the ability to switch moods like he did. I just couldn’t do it.

7.
July 26, 2007
Avery
    M y cell phone rang and when I looked at the display it showed 3AM. The caller ID showed an Unknown Caller. I knew instinctively that it was Carter who was calling. I hadn’t received any news in over ten days and I snatched the phone from the nightstand to