pass between her motherand Gertie. She frowned. They looked secretive…but why?
As soon as the three of them left the cottage, Doug’s arm around Hilda’s shoulder and Ellen clinging happily to his other hand, the false smile Gertie had put on for their benefit left her face. It had been pre-arranged that while they got Ellen out of the way, she would take the pig for slaughter – but that wasn’t why Gertie had to put on a false front.
As a child she had thought her feelings for Hilda were sisterly, but that had all changed at puberty. While Gertie had battled with her confused feelings, Hilda had been attracted to boys. Ashamed and bewildered, Gertie had pretended interest in them too, but all the time she had grown more and more enamoured with Hilda.
They’d always been such a complete contrast, she tall, big-boned, whereas Hilda was tiny, petite and feminine. Gertie had longed to hold her, to kiss her, but knew it was unnatural – that if Hilda, or anyone else, found out, they’d be disgusted. She had hated her feelings, wanted to be normal, but the thought of being touched, held, or kissed by a man repelled her.
Somehow Gertie had kept up the pretence, but, in the end, fearing she would no longer be able to contain her feelings for Hilda, it had been arelief when they went their separate ways. To her utter amazement, once out in the world, Gertie discovered that she wasn’t a freak – that there were other so-called unnatural women. She had met Susan, found happiness, but the affair had cost her everything. To escape they had moved here to Somerset, and until now she hadn’t seen Hilda for many years. When she’d written to ask if both she and Ellen could come to stay, Gertie had hesitated, but then hadn’t had the strength of will to refuse. They were in danger and she couldn’t bear to think about that, but as soon as she saw Hilda again, Gertie found her feelings rekindled.
It made her feel so guilty, pretending to Hilda that she saw her as a sister, but now that she was here, Gertie couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving again. To cope she’d created a fantasy, albeit a celibate one, where they were a family and Ellen their daughter. But then Doug had turned up and one look at Hilda’s face when she saw him was enough to shatter Gertie’s fragile illusion. Her lips tightened. Hilda was so obviously in love with her husband that it was painful to watch, the two of them barely able to keep their hands off each other.
Five more days – five more days of this purgatory before Doug left, and Gertie couldn’t wait to see the back of him. Of course Hilda would never turn to her, Gertie had long accepted that,but at least they’d be a family again. Hilda was bound to stay until the war was over and, with no end in sight, she and Ellen could be with her for years.
Doug smiled at Hilda, his hand now holding hers as they walked along with Ellen and the dog running ahead through the woods.
‘Blimey, love, I never thought I’d see the day when you’d be on your knees planting vegetables.’
‘Me neither, but we had to get out of London.’
‘It was good of Gertie to take you in, but aren’t you a bit nervous?’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Well, you know. What if she tries it on?’
‘Don’t be daft. We’re like sisters and Gertie would never do that.’
‘I wouldn’t be so sure. She comes over as a bit bossy to me and sometimes it feels as though she resents me being here.’
‘Of course she doesn’t, and Gertie’s always been a bit bossy. We’ve been friends since childhood and, as I said, we became like sisters. You’ve got nothing to worry about and, anyway, Doug, you know me. If she tried anything I’d flatten her – not that she would and I’m sure of that.’
‘Yeah, you might be small, but you’re a little spitfire,’ Doug agreed. ‘All right, stay, and at least when I go back I’ll know you’re safe.’
‘It’s a shame I can’t say the same.