together first. I want the clothes
in there." She grabbed the bag from me and wobbled up the stairs to the second floor.
I tried not to laugh at the view.
"What about the blankets…you want those upstairs too?" I called after her. I figured
I'd be safe with blankets.
"No, not yet ! Those go in the dresser too ," her voice trailed off as she walked down the hall into the spare bedroom turned
nursery but I still caught what she said next, "…honestly, I'm surrounded by idiots!"
I counted to ten before taking a deep breath and trying to sound as if I hadn't heard
her. "Hey, maybe I'll just go next-door and make lunch for everyone?" I needed an
excuse to escape. It was still an hour before noon, but Ana was making it impossible
to help. As was her usual way.
"Fine, whatever!" she hollered down the stairs.
Kris was parking the golf-cart in front of the cabin when I stepped back outside.
The hot rays of the sun warmed my shoulders immediately. I made a mental note to put
my bikini on after lunch and take a quick swim in the lake before I got too caught
up in Ana's crazy decorating. With my bandages off, I was finally allowed back in
the water.
Poor Kris was already caught in Ana's net. She was unloading more bags and small containers
out of the back of the cart and smiled up at me as I approached. It was fun for her
- planning for a baby. Half the group was beyond excited. Those of us that had already
been parents were torn with conflicting emotions though. I know we were devastated,
but we would never admit that out loud. I was happy for Ana and Jacks, truly I was.
But her pregnancy was a constant reminder of my own lost children. On the inside,
I was loathing the day Ana's baby cried for the first time.
I stood with my hands thrust into the pockets of my jean shorts and took in the view
around me. The lodge was a lovely place. Even though we had lost the main building
and the greenhouse, the rest of the property was still beautiful. The lake was perfect
for the hot summer days and there was more than enough room for everyone to have their
own space. I should have felt happy, because I had Connor. But it was becoming harder
and harder to shrug off the survivor guilt and the depression. It was on Connor's
face too. The dark rings below our eyes never seemed to go away. The longing for the
innocent lives we had lost - it was slowly consuming us.
***
Each flick of the small waves exhaled a cool breeze that paired nicely with the refreshing
temperature of the lake water. I drifted aimlessly atop a full-length inflatable float
with my eyes closed, enjoying the penetrating heat of the early afternoon sunshine.
My left elbow dangled slightly over the side of the small raft so that every other
wave slapped against it softly. It was strangely comforting and relaxing. Other than
my backside, which was an inch or two under the water line, my left arm was the only
part of me that was thoroughly wet.
A subtle shift in the waves made me open my eyes and despite the glare of the sun
on the water, I caught a glimpse of something dark floating toward me on my right.
When I lifted my head up to get a better look, whatever it was quickly sank below
the surface. After trying to sit up, the flimsy float bowed beneath me, dipping me
lower into the lake. Panicking, my legs had nowhere to go but back into the water
as I stared into the darkness beneath me, waiting for whatever I saw to surface again.
I could see Zoey where she lay stretched out on her side at the end of the dock, snoozing
in the sun; it wasn't the dog swimming in the water. As the current shifted below
me, a strangled sound pushed its way up my throat and escaped out of my mouth just
as I pictured the shark from Jaws . This is absurd because I knew there wasn’t a shark in the lake, but my imagination
was taking no prisoners and held firmly to the thought that I was seconds away from