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well, weird
pursuing this without Brian.”
    Maybe they were
right.
    I nodded, and,
with mixed emotions, replied, “I get it. And no one says he can’t go back next
year, right?”
    “Exactly!” Amy
clapped her hands. “Or his junior year. And, Jules, even if he doesn’t go back,
it doesn’t mean that he won’t remember what Brian wanted for him. It doesn’t
mean that the memories will mean nothing.”
    “You guys...” I
wiped the tears on my face. “No, no. I’m just glad I have you. Without the two
of you, I don’t know if I could have gotten through all of this.”
    “Yes, you would
have. You’re stronger than you know.” Bee smiled at me and reached across the
table to take my hand.
    “She’s right,
lady. You have balls of steel. You would have been okay, with or without us.
We’re just here for a little moral support.” Amy joined our hands together, and
I looked at my friends with gratitude.
    “Thanks, guys.
Whatever would have happened, I’m glad I didn’t have to find out. I’m glad you
guys were here with me.” I shook my head, as if to clear my thoughts, “Okay!
Enough of this! Let’s drink some more!”
    The girls and I
whooped and hollered. We laughed and teased each other, and it was just like
old times. No, but ’s… it was just like old times.

* *
*
    “You’re lucky I live down the road!” Bee
laughed as she struggled into her thin sweater. “What was in those things?”
    “You’re a
lightweight, and you know it,” Amy teased Bee. “You say the same thing every
time. As if you’re gonna fool us at this point.”
    “Whatever...”
Bee trailed off and gave Amy the finger.
    We all laughed,
and I watched my two best friends walk down the driveway, and into the night. I
shook my head and laughed quietly.
    “Mom?” Sam
called from upstairs, “Are they gone?”
    I peeked my
head around the corner and looked upstairs. “Seriously? You’re hiding upstairs?
From three women?”
    Sam came down
the stairs and shot me a look. “No, Mom. I wasn’t hiding. I was just giving you
ladies your girl time.”
    I nodded at him
and dismissed him with a wave of my hand. He followed me into the kitchen.
    “Mom, are we
cool?” He asked me, and I saw the worry in his eyes. “About school, I mean.”
    “As in?” I
wanted him to continue.
    “As in you’re
cool with me going to community college?”
    I took a deep
breath and put down the bowl I had been carrying, “I am. To be honest, I don’t
even think it had anything to do with you or what school you attend. I’ve never
been one to think that college is a must. Neither was Dad. We just want you to
be happy.”
    He came around
the kitchen island and stood next to me. “I know, Mom. And right now I want to
be at home. With you and Carey and J and the girls. I don’t want to be 4 hours
away.”
    Even though I
had to look up to see his eyes, he was still that little boy that used to cling
to me so tightly in the daycare. And then he was the little boy that waved at
me from the bus window. He was the young man that shyly asked me to teach him
how to slow dance when the girl he liked said yes to the Homecoming Dance. This
was our son. I hugged him tightly and rubbed his back.
    “Sam, if being
here and going to community college is what you need right now, I’m cool with
that,” I tried to assure him.
    He searched my
eyes looking for a lie, and when he saw none, he relaxed visibly. “Thanks, Mom.
Umm... Where’s the blender?”
    “Oh, it’s still
outside. Can you grab it for me?” I asked, as he moved toward the French door.

* *
*
    “What the fuck?” He had just stepped
outside when I heard him.
    I ran to the
door when I heard the disgust in his voice. “Sam?”
    “Mom, stay
back. Oh, this is gross. What the hell?”
    “Sam, watch
your mouth.” I said more out of habit. “What is it?”
    “I think it
used to be a cat.” Sam bent down. “Mom, turn on the light.”
    I flipped the
switch and light flooded the brick