Losing You Read Online Free PDF

possible how can I be sure of making the repayments when they kick in, when I can’t be sure my clients themselves are going to stay in work? No, the fact is I’m stuffed, and the sooner I face it the sooner I can move on.’
    ‘But what about the clients who are still paying? At least it’ll be some sort of income.’
    Polly didn’t deny it. ‘Actually, I’m planning to keep those kids on for the time being, provided the parents are happy about me running things from home, but it’ll still mean having to lay off the staff which I’m really dreading, because I love them all so much and now they’re going to be out of work too. Where’s it all going to end, Emma? What the hell is happening to this country? More wine, please, before I top myself. Or no, I probably ought to check my calls first, because that wretched phone’s obviously not going to stop and I suppose it could be Melissa trying to get hold of me.’
    As she disappeared into the hall, Emma picked up her glass and stared pensively down at the faux coal fire thatshe’d finally learned how to light without blowing herself up. This sitting-cum-dining room was by far the largest space in the house, with windows either end looking out front and back, and a pale-coloured carpet throughout that she might have chosen herself if it hadn’t come with the house. Though the furniture had mostly come from the cottage it didn’t really suit this modern interior, but she didn’t particularly mind, and at least it was something to be going on with until her fortunes changed.
    Probably best not to hold her breath for that.
    Hearing Polly’s muted voice as she rang someone back, Emma felt quietly stunned all over again, not only by the crisis in her friend’s business, but by the way she had asked for, ‘More wine, before I top myself.’
    After what Polly had been through with Jack it was hard to believe she could trot out such a flip remark as though its only reality was an attempt at dramatic effect. In fact, Emma knew, it was yet another indication of Polly’s incredible inner strength and refusal to make her future all about her past. Jack would have wanted it that way, there was no doubt about that, which was perhaps what made it easier for Polly to go on the way she had.
    It hadn’t been depression that had driven Polly’s beloved husband to take his own life, or the loss of his job, or the breakdown of his marriage, it was the shocking, and then terrifying, diagnosis of motor neurone disease. It had taken them months to come to terms with the truth of it, going through second and even third opinions, spending hours on the Internet finding out all they could about it, and finally, as the symptoms became more and more pronounced, the acceptance that it really was a part of their lives now, and always would be, because there was no cure. In the end, unable to face what it was going to mean for Polly – and Melissa – when he was no longer able to do anything for himself, Jack had taken it upon himself to spare them the agony of watching his disintegration and go while they could still remember him as a strong, capable and loving husband and father.
    ‘I wouldn’t have minded looking after him,’ Polly would cry, usually when she’d had one too many, or the loss creptout of the shadows to smother her. ‘It would have been better than not having him at all.’
    The point was, as Polly knew very well, that he’d have minded, very much, which was, perhaps, what made the act selfish, but however it was labelled Emma knew that in her heart Polly could never, and would never, believe that he’d done it with anything but love for her and Melissa in his heart.
    How tragic their story was, Emma was thinking, as Polly, still on the phone, came back into the room to sit down, and how meagre it made a divorce seem. Not that it was a contest – no one in their right minds would ever want to be top of the league when it came to suffering – but the way Polly