Lola's Secret Read Online Free PDF Page B

perhaps never should or could know, was that he and Anna had been having serious marriage problems before she died. Not just usual day-to-day issues. They had been on the verge of separation, moving swiftly toward divorce.
    It had been going wrong between them for years. Perhaps both of them had been too busy, Anna with her voice-over career, Glenn with his rising status in the advertising world. Perhaps they hadn’t paid each other enough attention, their daughter giving them enough conversation topics to paper over the cracks. But then Ellen had been badly hurt, bitten by a dog while playing in a nearby park. Anna had been with her, her attention diverted as she took a phone call. It had happened in an instant, a jagged gash on Ellen’s cheek, screams, shouts, blood, a rushed trip to hospital. The subtle tension between Glenn and Anna erupted immediately into full warfare. It was Anna’s fault for being distracted. It was Glenn’s fault—he was never home and when had he ever taken Ellen anywhere? The atmosphere between them had turned to ice. The bad scar on Ellen’s cheek was a constant reminder, not just of the incident, but of the gulf between them. As home life became tense, he’d spent more time at work. He found himself drawn toward a colleague, and with an ease and swiftness that surprised him, he’d started an affair. He wasn’t proud of his behavior, but it seemed to him that Anna didn’t care what he did any more. Ellen had still been their only talking point, but the blaming and guilt loomed beyond any polite surface words. Separation and divorce seemed the only possible outcome.
    He could still remember how he’d felt the day Anna phoned him with the news of her cancer diagnosis. She had been in South Australia, at the family motel. She’d been there for weeks by that stage. Officially, it was to give Ellen a break from difficulties at school. The other children had been teasing her about her scar. Unofficially, they had both known it was a trial separation. Their personal animosity had been pushed aside in that instant. He had done all he could to make her final weeks peaceful and to make life as calm for Ellen as possible. He’d been truly devastated when Anna died, grieving their broken marriage as much as her passing. But as time went by, his feelings slowly changed. He saw the situation more clearly. Their marriage had been coming to its end. He knew Anna had found love elsewhere too, with a man she’d met while staying at the motel. If she hadn’t become sick, if she hadn’t died, what would have happened to their marriage? Would they have still been together now? He seriously doubted it. They’d learned too many ways to hurt each other. It was difficult to admit, but it was the truth.
    But not a truth he could share with his daughter. Not now, perhaps not ever. What was the point? Ellen was only twelve years old. She’d already experienced more pain than any child should. He couldn’t expect her to understand the complexities and intricacies of her parents’ marriage.
    Yes, when he was alone, he could reason it all out easily. It was only now, when he found himself shouting into a slammed door, his blood pressure rising, his fists clenched—in frustration rather than anger—that it was hard to stay calm. He counted to ten. He tried to keep his voice low and measured.
    “Ellen, please. Think about it. I’d like us both to have Christmas with Denise and Lily. It would be fun. I know it.”
    “Go ahead and have fun. But I’m not coming.”
    “I can’t leave you here on your own.”
    “I don’t care if you do.”
    “Right. Sure. As if I would leave a twelve-year-old girl on her own on Christmas Day.”
    “It’s obvious you don’t care about me, so you may as well.”
    “Fine, then. I’ll do exactly that. Leave you here for the day alone. And what will you do? Stay locked away in your room? Starve?” He winced again. Why was he choosing all the wrong words today? For two