Lily of the Valley Read Online Free PDF Page B

here.
    She leans closer to me, her lips almost against my cheek, and whispers, “I’m not that kind of girl.”
    Her breath tickles the hair on my neck and I lose myself. I lean down and kiss along her collarbone, feeling her body fit against mine and I pull her in to me. I don’t know if this girl is a virgin or if she’s more than she seems, but the things I want to do to her are certainly not in her repertoire. I move down closer to her tits, feeling them rising and falling as she breathes. I don’t touch her, but I kiss her where the slight curve of her breasts reaches her upper chest and she lets out a soft flutter of pleasure.
    “I’d love to know exactly what kind of girl you are,” I tell her and she reacts exactly as I’d hoped and feared she would. She reaches into my jacket and runs her hands along my back. I need her desperately. Her hands move fast and I bring my lips to the edge of her breasts, kissing them as they rise to meet me. She moans, but then backs away with a gasp.
    “I have a boyfriend. I can’t do this.” Her voice is insistent, but her hands are shaking and her eyes are burning.
    I resist the urge to grab her and make her forget all about him. I don’t cheat and I don’t help people cheat. I refuse to be the guy who does that, no matter how carried away I’m getting. The reminder sobers me a little. Still, I’m not ready to give up completely and I reason with her. “Where is your boyfriend? You’ve mentioned him before, but you run into me a lot for someone who’s so in love.”
    It’s the wrong thing to say. She crosses her arms and closes herself off to me. My body is going to hate me for this when I get back to my room.
    “It was an accident,” she says.
    Hearing it hurts. Tonight felt like something more than an accident. I know I’m wrong for her and I know we could never work, but it’s insulting that she can deny what just happened. Her reaction to my mouth on her skin didn’t say accident. It said she wanted this as badly as I do. It said that she was well aware that she made the choice to spend tonight with me, not with this other guy.
    “Tonight was an accident?” I ask. I want to hear her confirm it, to hear her argue that the last couple hours were a lie.
    Her eyes start to water and she can’t speak. I feel guilty about putting her in this situation, but I also want her so fucking bad right now. When her eyes grow wet, they shine. She could ask me for anything and I would do it.
    “I have a boyfriend,” she says again.
    I’m not fighting with her. I walk away and leave her standing outside. I hope she regrets that the moment ended, because leaving is nearly impossible to do.
    When I get to my room, I slam my door and turn on music. It’s angry and violent and I grab the pillow off my bed and scream. What is it with this stupid girl and her stupid hold on me? I unbutton my pants and jerk off with the music raging, my cock so desperate for her and her stupid, stupid strawberry fucking hair. When I come, I cry out but I don’t even know her name. I wish I knew her goddamn name.
    I fall asleep naked, dreaming of her and hating myself for it.

 
    Chapter 5
     
    By the time I make it to practice the next day, I’m a wreck. Yet as soon as I pick up my bass, I forget her. The music is escape.
    I help Neil write a lot of the songs and they come from both of our own issues. I don’t know much about what his issues even are, but we’re both angry and hate everything around us, so I feel like we get each other.
    The other two band members, the drummer and the guitarist, tend to fluctuate. Right now, we have Eric and Devon. This is Devon’s first practice and it’s a good thing he kicks ass on the drums, because Devon is one stupid ass name and I almost hate him for having it.
    The newest song that Neil and I wrote last semester works well with this group and we play it a few times before taking a break.
    “Here. I brought beer,” Devon says and passes around