cootchy-cootchy-coo.â She tickled me under the chin as if I was a baby.
âLeave it out! Mum, stop it!â I doubled up, spluttering. Iâm hopelessly ticklish and itâs a horrible disadvantage. You find yourself shrieking with laughter even when youâre furious.
âThatâs my girl!â Mum said, digging her thumb and finger in my cheeks. âMy Little Miss Smileyâs come back. Come on, pet, Iâm in the mood for treating you. What do you want?â
âWell . . . can I have a big drawing pad just for me?â
âOf course you can, silly.â
Mum didnât get any old drawing pad with rough paper from one of the pound shops. She took us to a special art shop and bought me a giant pad of smooth white cartridge paper, and a new big set of felt-tip pens, all different subtle shades, so I could draw real-looking people, not girls with bright red skin and canary yellow hair. She spent more than the tenner I wanted for the school trip but she was having such fun it seemed mean to point this out. She bought us all sweets and chocolates too, and a couple of celebrity mags for herself and comics for the kids. She wanted to buy me a magazine too, so I chose My Gorgeous Home so I could get ideas for my own gorgeous home in the future.
âYou want this one?â said Mum, wrinkling her nose. âYouâre the weirdest kid ever, Lily. Look, itâs twice the price of all the others!â But she bought it all the same.
âNow itâs my turn for treats,â said Mum, and she pushed the buggy into a big fashion store.
I got really worried then. Each time she used that credit card I was scared it would be refused â and even if it was genuine, I knew Mum would never have enough money to pay the bill at the end of the month.
âMind the kids while I just try this top and skirt on, Lily. Oh, and this dress! Do you think I can just about wriggle into it? What is it? Youâve got that face on again.â
âMum, itâs nearly two hundred pounds!â
âYeah, well, why should I always have to make do with cheap rubbish from down the market. Iâm going up to town tonight, you know I am. I want to look the part.â
âBut how will you ever pay it off ?â
âYou were born middle-aged, you. Youâve got to have a bit of fun while you can. Live for the moment, Lily, thatâs my motto. Snatch a bit of happiness when you get the chance.â
Mum tried the clothes on. The top was a bit too low and showed a lot of Mumâs bony chest.
âNever mind, I can get one of those push-up bras, thatâll do the trick. The skirtâs OK, isnât it, Lily?â
I thought the skirt was too tight and too short, but it wasnât very expensive so I said it looked great. I hoped Mum would stick with the top and the skirt, but she tried the dress on too. It really did look lovely. It was pearly grey, very silky and slinky.
âOh, look, itâs dead classy, isnât it! Oh, wait till Gordon sees me in this. Heâll love it, I know he will.â
âGordon, Gordon, Gordon,â said Pixie, chuckling at the funny name.
âWhoâs Gordon?â asked Bliss.
âMy new boyfriend,â Mum said proudly.
â Iâm your boyfriend, Mum,â said Baxter. âYeah, Iâm going to take you out dancing in that pretty dress.â
âIt is pretty, isnât it, darling? You think I should buy it, donât you?â
âYes, of course, Mum.â
I sighed. It was hopeless. The kids were just egging her on, because they didnât understand. I was starting to get really worried. It wasnât just the credit card. Mum was getting so worked up about meeting Gordon. I kept wondering if he would even turn up. Iâd watched enough romances in the soaps on telly. Young men sometimes fell for older women, but their relationships were never long term. Posh people sometimes hooked up