Like Chaff in the Wind Read Online Free PDF Page B

like dumb animals and the huge overseer, Jones, gave Matthew a taunting smile, all the while fingering the strop he carried. Matthew broke eye contact and stared down at his feet.
    Much later they were finally allowed to stop. Chests were heaving with the unfamiliar humidity and their clothing hung damp and uncomfortable. None of them had said a word, concentrating on keeping up with the cart. Jones ignored them, leaving them to stand, still tied, and said something in a low voice to the two drovers. They all laughed, eyes slinking in the direction of the new men.
    “Three years,” Matthew heard one of them say. “No more than that.” With a sinking feeling, he understood they were betting on their survival. It made his stomach turn itself inside out.

Chapter 4
    Mrs Gordon quickly decided travelling by sea had its advantages, and spent most of her days chatting up the cook or one of the sailors, coming back to share nuggets of information with Alex, who to her surprise discovered she was prone to seasickness and therefore remained in bed.
    “Did you know the captain’s crossed the Atlantic thirty times?” Mrs Gordon asked, sitting down on the single stool.
    “Great. I suppose that means he knows what he’s doing, right?”
    Mrs Gordon nodded and went on to tell Alex one more blood curdling story after the other, stories of shipwrecks and pirates and ships sitting becalmed for weeks in the middle of the ocean, the whole crew convinced that soon they would die, maddened by thirst.
    “Are you doing this on purpose?”
    Mrs Gordon laughed and said that as distraction it served, did it not?
    After a couple of claustrophobic days in the dark cabin, Alex made her way out on deck, sniffing the fresh air with appreciation. For the first time since they set off, she had woken hungry, and she’d consumed a hearty breakfast consisting of salted fried pork, beer and somewhat stale bread.
    “We’ll be anchoring off Plymouth tomorrow,” Captain Miles told her, coming to join her by the railing. “We have one new passenger coming aboard.” He smiled at Alex and went back to studying the sea. “Your companion tells me you’re on your way to join your husband.”
    “Yes, in Virginia.” She wasn’t about to tell him more than that. “How long will it take?”
    “Seven to ten weeks, depending on the weather and the winds.”
    Late June then, she sighed, wondering how she would stand it. The last few nights he’d been so close, and she had arched herself to meet his touch only to bang her head against the wall of the berth and jerk awake. She missed him; there was a jagged hole inside of her that grew larger with every day. Their son sat aching in her heart, but Matthew, well him she missed with everything. With her hands, where she wanted nothing more than to let her fingers rest against his skin, with her mouth, with her breasts… Every part of her was left diminished, damaged, now that he wasn’t here to blend seamlessly into her.
    “You’ll find him.” Mrs Gordon appeared like a giant, overweight magpie by her side.
    “You think?”
    Mrs Gordon tut-tutted with irritation. “Of course you will.” She cocked her head to one side and gave Alex a swift pat. “He’s not dead, lass, and as long as he’s alive you’ll find him. He calls to you, doesn’t he? Just like my Robbie—” She broke off. Alex regarded her narrowly, studying her in a way she’d never done before. Always black, never anything but black, except for her old-fashioned caps and collars that stood starched and white. And not once had Alex thought to ask.
    “How long were you married?”
    “Twenty years.” Mrs Gordon’s short fingers caressed the ring she wore on her pinkie. “Twenty years and four lasses, and then all five died within a year.” She shrugged off Alex’s hand. “I was very blessed, aye? I loved and was loved.” She tightened the shawl around her and patted Alex on the arm. “So do you, no? You love him so much you’d