Life Begins Read Online Free PDF Page B

we just say that the
person sucked at what they were trying to do and move on? Sure, you
would feel better if you could blame something outside of your
control, but sometimes you just have to accept the fact that it was
all you and the decisions you have made in your life.
    Maybe autism is being thought of
as Extreme Male Brain Syndrome because at the heart of the matter
guys don’t care about a lot of stuff that women are emotionally
involved with. It wouldn’t suggest that one gender is better than
another anymore than saying a neurotypical person is better than
the autistic person. Men and women think differently in the same
way that normal people and autistic people think
differently.
    When I was in kindergarten, I was
certain of the fact that I loved Christine. Regardless of whether
it was socially acceptable or not, I loved her. She could reject
me, but I would still love her. That would always be a
constant.
    I’m not going to say that I wasn’t
hurt by this. The years that followed were filled with me trying to
make sense of Christine and what she felt for me while trying to
not be socially inappropriate or awkward to where she would reject
me. It was a balancing act of loving that obscure object of desire
while trying not to be destroyed by loving more than I could
receive in return.
    Christine was never one of my
obsessions. My obsessions include the Muppets, classic comedy,
American history, Batman, Star Wars, and some other random things.
I might be known for my love of the ideal blonde in the same way
that Hitchcock was, but this does not include Christine. She is the
perfect blonde and the perfect friend and lover. She is perfect in
every way a human being can be.
    She’s a need and not an obsession.
I have always needed her in the same way that everybody needs food,
water, shelter, and warmth. When I told her in kindergarten that I
loved her, it was the logical conclusion of a boy who recognized
her importance to him and his life. Beyond ideals, beauty, desires,
and wants, she was so important to me that I would have given my
own life for the continual existence of hers. She was more
important to me than I was to myself. I had no other way of letting
her know this other than telling her I love her.
    ~~~
    There’s a lot of things I could
say about Jack. He has always been socially awkward, uniquely
independent, and hard to get him to talk about his feelings because
he can never seem to get his heart and his head to communicate to
each other.
    Over the years, I’ve learned not
to argue with him. He is logical beyond all reason and very hard to
win an argument with. I don’t want anybody out there to think that
he hates women. He doesn’t. He puts women ahead of himself and has
an extreme hatred of men, especially the bigger, more muscular kind
I used to date. He just doesn’t like when women try to act like
they are better than men. I think it goes against his ideals of
gender equality.
    I once got into the gender debate
with him. He angered me to such a point all I could come back with
was, “God, you’re such an ass hole!” Without missing a beat, he
responds, “Why do you think I’ve been trying to tell you that women
are not superior to men? They date men. You have to question the
intelligence of a gender that habitually dates men with the full
knowledge that they’re ass holes. Even if I found men physically
attractive, I at least have enough common sense to know to not date
men because we are all ass holes! Women go from one terrible
relationship to another and never learn this lesson.”
    I didn’t have a response to this.
I often don’t have a response for what he says, and I kind of like
it that way. He is rarely appropriate, but he is always honest.
What I learned from that argument was that he seriously doesn’t
understand women and communicating with me. “Look, Christine, I
don’t know what you want from me. I know of every complaint you
have ever had about any of your boyfriends.