LIFE BEFORE DAMAGED VOL. 10 (THE FERRO FAMILY) Read Online Free PDF Page B

her hand, gripping my shirt in her delicate fist. Her grip on my shirt loosens.
    She whispers a faint “kiss me,” almost like a breath. I lean in and gently brush my lips against hers, scared I might break her. Her lips press into mine, and we kiss through my sobs until she sighs her last breath, her mouth motionless and her lifeless hand dropping down to her side.

THE PAST AND PRESENT COLLIDE
Peter, The Present
    A loud sob rips me back to reality, where possibly a different hell waits. Sidney sits next to me on the swing, crying and wiping tears away from her face. Thinking about the night I lost Gina in such vivid detail is like losing her all over again, making my past failures all too potent. I blink my past away with my tears, trying to shove the memory back into the deep recesses of my mind where it belongs.
    I'm torn. I want to hold Sidney. I want to comfort her, and I need her to comfort me, but she hasn't told me yet what her intentions are. If she's wary of me now, any touch of mine will send her running and never coming back. Most people can't touch her. After the hell she's lived through, even the simplest touch can revive her worst nightmares. Who knows what she thinks of me after what she's read? I don't want to push her. I waited for her once, and I'll patiently wait again. With Sidney, each touch is a gift.
    She sniffles, still wiping tears from her face with the backs of her hands.
    "Sorry. I feel like I just lost a friend. Crazy, isn't it, considering I've never met her? She was a wonderful person." Sidney looks down to her hands, twisting a rolled-up document. I want to place my hands on hers, to try and ease her nerves, but I won't touch her without her consent. I'm probably the one making her nervous. I stuff my hands in my pockets instead, resisting temptation.
    "It's not my favorite memory. I've had time to deal with it but, most of all, I had you to help me heal." I let out a sigh. The wait is unbearable, and the troubled look in her eyes isn't reassuring. "You're holding something back from me. I'm dying here, Sidney. Please tell me what you're thinking."
    Sidney's gaze stays downcast, never leaving the papers in her hands. She can't look me in the eye anymore. "I'm trying to put everything together. The orphanage fundraiser occurred the night she died?"
    I nod.
    "That means she never told you. Oh, Peter. I'm so sorry to do this, but Gina wanted you to have this. According to her journal, she planned to give it to you after the fundraiser, but never had the chance."
    There was no day after the fundraiser. Not for her, not for Gina. My life seemed to have ended that night, too—until Sidney walked into that little restaurant in Texas and brought me back to life.
    I open my mouth, but words fail me as my past and present crash violently into one another.
    Sidney holds her hand out, passing me the papers. I take them from her, our fingertips brushing together briefly. Sidney doesn’t flinch or pull her arm back, giving me a sliver of hope.
    I unroll the papers and recognize them immediately. It’s my criminal file. “I don’t understand.”
    “Gina stole this from your mother. She wanted to repay you for destroying her file, but she discovered some information she couldn’t bring herself to destroy—at least not until you saw it. Please, just read it. All the way to the end.” Sidney places a hand on my knee and my head snaps in her direction. That small gesture speaks volumes. Despite what she knows, she’s not repulsed by me or afraid of me.
    My eyes reluctantly scan the document, flipping through the pages, one after the other: assault, disorderly conduct, speeding, disturbing the peace, DUI, indecent exposure, reckless endangerment, public intoxication, destruction of private and public property, parking violations. The list is long and mirrors just how angry I was back then.
    Sidney chews nervously on her bottom lip, and her fingers twist her engagement ring in agitated circles.