Letters From My Windmill Read Online Free PDF Page B

Master Estève after scanning the letters; come in; have a
glass of Muscat.
    The man replied:
    —Thanks, but I am too upset for company.
    And he went away.
    The father went back in, seemingly unaffected, and retook his place at
the table where the meal was rounded off quite amiably.
    That evening, Master Estève went out into the fields with his son. They
stayed outside some time, and when they did return the mother was
waiting up for them.
    —Wife, said the farmer bringing their son to her, hug him, he's very
unhappy….
    * * * * *
    Jan didn't mention the Arlesienne ever again. He still loved her
though, only more so, now he knew that she was in the arms of someone
else. The trouble was that he was too proud to say so, and that's what
killed the poor boy. Sometimes, he would spend entire days alone,
huddled in a corner, motionless. At other times, angry, he would set
himself to work on the farm, and, on his own, get through the work of
ten men. When evening came, he would set out for Arles, and walk
expectantly until he saw the town's few steeples appearing in the
sunset. Then he turned round and went home. He never went any closer
than that.
    The people in the farm didn't know what to do, seeing him always sad
and lonely. They feared the worst. Once, during a meal, his mother, her
eyes welling with tears, said to him:
    —Alright, listen Jan, if you really want her, we will let you take
her….
    The father, blushing with shame, lowered his head….
    Jan shook his head and left….
    From that day onwards, Jan changed his ways, affecting cheerfulness all
the time to reassure his parents. He was seen again at balls, cabarets,
and branding fetes. At the celebrations at the Fonvieille fete, he
actually led the farandole.
    His father said: "He's got over it." His mother, however, still had her
fears and kept an eye on her boy more than ever…. Jan slept in the
same room as Cadet, close to the silkworms' building. The poor mother
even made up her bed in the next room to theirs … explaining by
saying that the silkworms would need attention during the night.
    Then came the feast day of St. Eli, patron saint of farmers.
    There were great celebrations in the farm…. There was plenty of
Château-Neuf for everybody and the sweet wine flowed in rivers. Then
there were crackers, and fireworks, and coloured lanterns all over the
nettle trees. Long live St. Eli! They all danced the farandole until
they dropped. Cadet scorched his new smock…. Even Jan looked content,
and actually asked his mother for a dance. She cried with joy.
    At midnight they all went to bed; everybody was tired out. But Jan
himself didn't sleep. Cadet said later that he had been sobbing the
whole night. Oh, I tell you, he was well smitten that one….
    * * * * *
    The next morning the mother heard someone running across her sons'
bedroom. She felt a sort of presentiment:
    —Jan, is that you?
    Jan didn't reply, he was already on the stairs.
    His mother got up at once:
    —Jan, where are you going?
    He went up into the loft, she followed him:
    —In heavens name, son!
    He shut and bolted the door:
    —Jan, Jan, answer me. What are you doing?
    Her old trembling hands felt for the latch…. A window opened; there
was the sound of a body hitting the courtyard slabs. Then … an awful
silence.
    The poor lad had told himself: "I love her too much…. I want to end
it all…." Oh, what pitiful things we are! It's all too much; even
scorn can't kill love….
    That morning, the village people wondered who could be howling like
that, down there by Estève's farm.
    It was the mother in the courtyard by the stone table which was covered
with dew and with blood. She was wailing over her son's lifeless body,
limp, in her arms.

THE POPE'S MULE
    When Provencal people talked about an aggressive man with a grudge,
they used to say, "Beware of that man!… he is like the Pope's mule,
who saved up her kick for seven years."
    I have long been trying to find out where the saying came