Lessons from a Dead Girl Read Online Free PDF

care,” she says casually.
    I feel my mouth drop open.
Then why do you make me do it?!
I want to scream. She makes her own mouth drop open to imitate me. Then she turns and walks away. I swear I see her smile, as if she’s had a new idea.
    “I was just talking to Zack Wallace,” she tells me the next week at school. “I was telling him about this neat closet you have in your house. How you call it the doll closet, and how we used to play in it together.” She smiles, showing me her white teeth. One of her top front teeth crosses over the other just slightly. It’s one of Leah’s only flaws, and I always catch myself looking at it when she talks to me.
    “Leah, please,” I say. “You can’t tell anyone.”
    She grins at me. “Why not?”
    “Because —” But I don’t know how to answer. And, anyway, she knows.
    “You said it was a secret,” I tell her.
    “A secret is like a promise,” she says. “And you broke a promise to me. Maybe if I tell the secret, we’ll be even.”
    “But I didn’t —” I want to tell her I didn’t mean to break the promise about Sam. But the more I think about it, the more I’m not sure.
    We look at each other, both waiting for the other to say something. The words I want to ask are in the back of my throat.
What happened with Sam? What did he do?
But when I open my mouth to force them out, Leah rolls her eyes at me and walks away.

“Let’s see if your dad has any dirty magazines,” Leah says. She’s found my old Barbie suitcase in my closet and is making Ken and Malibu Barbie do obscene things to each other.
    “Why do you keep these things, anyway? My mom gave away all my old toys.” She digs through the suitcase and finds Skipper. “Looks like you, Lainey!” She laughs, pointing at my chest.
    I roll my eyes.
    “You still play with them, don’t you?”
    I’m used to this. Ever since I broke my promise, Leah has gotten increasingly nasty.
    “I don’t play with them,” I say. “My dad says they’ll be worth a lot some day.”
    I grab the dolls and shove them back in their case. “And my dad does
not
have dirty magazines,” I add. “He’s not like that.”
    “Like what? There’s nothing wrong with looking. That’s what my dad tells my mom.”
    “Well, my dad doesn’t,” I tell her.
    “Whatever.” Leah smiles. “But I bet he does.”
    “How would you know?” There is no way my father looks at that stuff. “The only time my dad ever had a
Playboy
is the one he got at the surprise party my mom had for him when he turned forty.”
    “Mmm-hmm,”
Leah says. I want to hit her. She reaches over and puts her hand on my thigh. “Prove it.”
    My cheeks get hot with her touch, and a familiar, horrible warm feeling fills my stomach — and lower down. I feel my body wake up with excitement and the fear that always comes with it.
    “I told you my dad doesn’t have any. He’s not like that.”
    “We’ll see.” Leah stands and walks out of my room.
    As the stairs creak under her weight, I know I’m going to follow. I don’t want her looking through my parents’ stuff without me. I look out the window to make sure my mom is still outside in the garden, then I follow.
    I hear Leah in my parents’ bedroom. When I go in, I find her searching through my father’s closet.
    “Hey! What are you doing?”
    “Looking,” she says, all serious. She pushes her way farther into the back of the closet. Sure enough, behind a small pile of shoes he never wears, Leah hits the jackpot. A cardboard wine box, ripped on one side, is hidden behind a white plastic bag that has
summer clothes
written on it in Magic Marker.
    Leah pulls open the flaps and snickers.
    “I told you,” she said, holding up a
Playboy
magazine. There’s a blond woman with huge breasts and a toothy smile on the cover. “My mom says
all
men keep their
Playboy
s in the closet. So predictable.” She says the last bit in her know-it-all voice. I still can’t believe it, but there it is. In