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sir.”
    “Thanks, Regina,” I said, ending our conversation. Regina disappeared down the hall, but I remained still. I watched Clara. I was so damn confused. “Want to go to New York with me?” I suddenly asked her, shocked by the boldness of my own words. But I had to try. I had to take this chance. Because I might not ever get another one.
    Her jaw dropped a little. “What?”
    My heart was racing, but I tried to play it off. I sighed, rubbing one hand over the back of my neck. Damn. I’d never been so nervous. I’d known Clara forever, but that didn’t change the fact that my stomach was a mess. “You heard me,” I told her, trying to talk in my usual fast way. “I'm leaving in ten minutes, so you can come or not. But I think you should come. You look like hell and I’ll bet you could use the break and the distance from Blue Creek. We've recently refurbished the Maddox Hotel in Manhattan. The big reopening is this weekend. I have tons of work and won't have a minute of free time for myself. But if you wanted...you could fly up there in the jet with me, stay in one of the executive suites, do whatever, and then come back with me early Monday morning. Are you supposed to be working for your dad this weekend?”
    Did I actually care if Reed needed her to work at his country club this weekend? No. Did I actually think she looked like hell? Shit, no. Of course not. She was stunning. But I still worried about her recent decision to date Ass-Face Andrew. Something felt off with that, and with her. Something made me want to keep her close—whether I benefited from it or not.
    Yes, I loved her. Yes, I wanted to practice making babies and marry her one day…if I could only break down all her walls. But above all else, I cared for her. The Ryder family was my family. She was my family. So my question for her to come to New York wasn’t completely selfish. That was the most shocking part of this conversation.
    Because I was a very selfish person.
    Clara hadn’t answered. Maybe she was in shock. Maybe she was weighting the options in her mind, trying to decide. One thing I knew for certain, she needed space. She always needed space when faced with a decision or when she was put under pressure. It was part of her personality. I can remember when we were kids, she’d often disappear or run off to her room—especially after an argument—needing time alone. She’d reemerge stronger than ever. She never showed her true feelings to anyone. But I secretly knew, something I learned long ago, that Clara had the kindest, biggest, most gentle heart under her thorny exterior. It was part of why I loved her so much. I only hoped that if something were to finally start between us—if this moment was about to define the rest of my life—that she could learn to let me in.
    I stepped backward into my room. “I need to take a quick shower. The car's in the driveway, waiting to take me to the local airstrip where my jet is. If you want to come, then be in that car in ten minutes. Bye, Clara.”
    I moved for my bathroom, but turned around to say one last thing.
    “I think you should come.”
    Not waiting for a response, I shut myself in the bathroom.

CHAPTER 5:
     
     
     
    D azed and confused. That was me. Currently. Standing in my shower.
    The water ran down my face as I heavily breathed in and out. I stopped doing drugs when I was nineteen, so I knew I hadn’t just hallucinated Clara in my house.
    “Calm the fuck down, Leo,” I said aloud. “She’s going to be in that car.”
    But I couldn’t calm down and I didn’t really want to. I’d waited most of my life to feel this way. To have a chance. To have hope.
    But was my hope wasted?
    My mind jumped to a memory of Clara from last summer. We hadn’t seen much of each other this past year. And before this weekend, this incident was the last time we’d even spoken. And like always, one simple conversation between us had ended in hurtful words spoken.
    Last summer I was