Leave Me Alone Read Online Free PDF

graduation ceremony, Ning Dongdong and I enjoyed a long kiss behind the rockery. As I quietly unfastened her bra, Ning Dongdong moaned with pleasurable anticipation. Just as I was ready to progress to third base however, she regained her senses, said ‘I can’t’ three times and fled to her dormitory. This was my third greatest regret of my university career — the second was failing the fourth-level examination three times (the most unlucky time being short half a point); the first was getting busted the time I rented a screening room to show porn films. My dreams of riches were shattered.
    It appeared that my breadstick lover was interested in me from the very beginning. The breadsticks she chose for me were always large and juicy, which made Li Liang insanely jealous. Behind Li Liang’s back, I went to flirt with her a few times. She usually laughed at my teasing, but didn’t succumb to it either, which fascinated me. Then the day came when she asked whether I could help her find a place to live. I was delighted and told her that she could stay with me. On the day she moved into my house, I all but forced myself on her. She didn’t call out or shout, just struggled incessantly, grabbing at me so my whole body was mauled. After I’d finished,I was suddenly afraid and said dejectedly, ‘You should report this.’
    She didn’t reply at first, but after a while took my hand and said, ‘Let’s do it again, but please be gentle.’
    After that my breadstick lover lived with me for three months. Every day she would wash my clothes, make food, and tidy and clean the room. When she saw me walk in the door, her face would light up: that expression is vividly clear in my memory. Day after day I would go to work, go home, watch TV and make love to my breadstick. Later, I thought it was probably the closest I’d come to real happiness in my whole life. Once, because she’d eaten a clove of garlic, I swore at her and made her cry. That is the strongest memory I have from that time.
    When Zhao Yue emailed to say she was ready to come to Chengdu, I told my breadstick lover, ‘My girlfriend is coming — we have to split up now.’
    She froze with terror. Tears flowed down her face.
    ‘It’s no good being sad,’ I told her.
    She didn’t say a word, just cried soundlessly all night. I couldn’t get her to stop and to be honest it made me very sad too. When the sky was nearly light she wiped her tears away, kissed my face and said, ‘Chen Zhong, give me a little money. I’m pregnant, I need to go to the hospital…’
    I admit that I’m not a decent guy; I was just interested in her body. After she moved out, she called me a few times. Because I was afraid Zhao Yue would start to wonder, whenever I noticed it was her I just hung up. I’d never imagined I’d meet her again one day in a place like this.
    ‘Do you want to dance?’ she said. ‘I won’t ask you for money.’
    My heart suddenly filled with sorrow. All around in the dark I saw men and women pressed tightly together, using every revolting posture you could think of to rub against each other. Turning my head, I looked at this once so simple girl. What did she feel when these men groped her? Did she think of me?
    ‘Why are you here?’ I asked.
    She lowered her head. ‘Do you really need to ask?’
    ‘Don’t you want to go home?’
    On the day we split up, I’d asked her what she would do in the future. She said that she would go back to her village and never leave again.
    The disco was filling up with people. A few men made advances, but she rejected them. Leaning against my shoulder, she sighed and said, ‘I don’t want to go back to the village. I can’t take the suffering. It’s hard to be a peasant now.’
    Her hand felt unfamiliarly soft and smooth. I remembered that when I first knew my breadstick lover her hands were still hard, rough to the touch. What was it that had brought this simple unaffected young woman to a place like this? In that