Learning to Drown Read Online Free PDF Page B

feeling mildly stunned, while Lucas rummaged
through his closet. I wouldn’t even ask why he had handcuff keys. Not one key.
Plural-- keys. “Let’s try this one,” he knelt. The elevated mattress hit
him at shoulder height.
    “I like this bed. Is it a family
heirloom?”
    Lucas nodded, pushing a small silver
key into the hole. “Family heirloom, yep. Rough guesstimate is it’s about a
hundred and twenty years old and I’m the fourth generation to have it. Nope.
That one didn’t work.” He pushed a slightly larger key into the hole.
    “You have a lot of keys on that ring,”
I said, my voice soft. Daisy snorted, lowered her head, her eyes drifting shut.
    “I have a lot of use for them. When I
choose.” He bent his head, turned the key, the cuff sprang open. He didn’t say
any more on the subject. Simply undid the other cuff, took them both and dumped
them in a tall silver trash can in the corner. “Better?”
    I rubbed my wrists, though they
weren’t raw, they felt it. It was surprisingly emotional to have them off.
“Yes, thank you.”
    He plopped onto the bed next to me,
hands on his thighs. Big hands. Nice hands. Squared off fingertips and big
knuckles. Some oil and grease stains at the knuckles. Lots of small nicks and
scars. The hands of a man who worked hard and played hard. And fucked hard? “So
you and this Damien…you played games?”
    I nodded, studied my own hands. The
same hands as before. A bit stiff and cold still. Plain, boring, event planner
hands. “Yeah. Sorry you were pulled into it. Sorry you had to find me that way.
Trust me, very sorry. I’m sure that was not on your agenda for the night.”
    He grinned and hooked an arm around my
neck. “You were a very pleasant surprise on a cold, lonely night.” His
brotherly way made me feel somewhat shunned. He kissed the top of my head,
which seemed both normal and shocking. “So, let’s talk. You were the one who
wanted the playtime?”
    His voice was almost tactile it was so
rough. Something in my chest loosened. Felt a  little freer than usual. “Yeah.
Me. I couldn’t…I didn’t. It made stuff better for me. We were stale.”
    “Rape or abduction? Or both?” His
voice dropped lower. Fear prickled at the nape of my neck even as a whorl of
pleasure unfurled in the softest spot between my legs. I cleared my throat.
    “Abduction. I’m sure you think I’m
insane.”
    “No. Not insane. But  you have an
abduction fantasy. An urge to submit. To be taken, yeah?”
    I nodded, too mortified by the
confession to speak. I could feel twin hot spots on my cheeks. My fingers
plucked at the woolen blanket.
    “But you would say you wanted it.
You’d tell him, or did he ever instigate? I mean, clearly you don‘t have to
tell me.”
    “No-no, it’s fine. I can say it. I
would tell him.”
    His voice dropped even further to
match mine. “That’s why it still wasn’t working. Do you trust me?”
    “What? I…” Did I? Shit, I should. The
man had hauled me out of danger and given me a small corner of safety. “I think
so. I suppose.”
    “Not good enough.”
    Lucas grabbed my arm and pulled me to
another door. “Shower’s in there. There are towels under the sink and shower
gel on the shelf. I’ll dig up some sweats for you. Then we’ll see about some
food. Okay?”
    Warm brown eyes, sharp nose, calm low
voice. He had the effect of a big glass of wine, taking my jangling nerves to a
calmer more serene place. “Yeah, sure. Okay. And Lucas?”
    He turned, half way out of the door.
“Yeah?
“Thank you. You have no idea how grateful I am. For everything. Especially for
not laughing at me.” I said the last to my feet. Unable or unwilling to look
him in the eye.
    “Nothing to laugh at, September,” he
said and shut the door.
     
     

Chapter 4
     
    I lathered my hair for the second
time. I wasn’t dirty. I had showered and primped before letting Damien haul me
kicking and screaming down the steps in a sloppy fireman’s carry.