Last Winter We Parted Read Online Free PDF

flawed, you see. But I realized that I was obsessed with the flaw itself. I was delirious with joy. That joy enabled me to keep working on the flawed equation, which brought me into strange territory.
I was thrilled when I realized it
. I was able to leave mathematics … To this day, I still wonder what the hell that damn formula was about.”
    Katani suddenly falls silent, as if he realizes he talked too much and is embarrassed. Or perhaps he is distracted by something serious. I think if I don’t speak he won’t say anything more.
    “… Kiharazaka’s photograph,
Butterflies
 …”
    He doesn’t respond to what I say. Despite the fact that a moment ago he had been speaking with such enthusiasm.
    “For me, there’s something about that photo of his … This all started when my editor asked if I might be interested in writing about him. That’s how it happened, no dramatic connection. But then, just … when I looked at that photo, I realized I was on the verge of a morbid fixation on it. So the concept of writing a book on him is simply expanding the original assignment, taking it far beyond.”
    He still doesn’t respond. It seems as though he might have regressed to the time when he was doing mathematics.
    “I was interested in the man who took that photograph. Then I looked at the archives that were supplied to me. Both women were murdered. When the first incident happened, the fire was not treated as arson—but after the second murder, it became clear that he was responsible for both. It’s not as if one could be deemed an accident and the other a murder … It’s just like you said. I have various doubts, and that’s one of them—why aren’t there any photos of the corpses burning? Wouldn’t an artist likehim—one who sought out the bizarre—have been expected to take pictures?”
    “I think you may have missed …” he says suddenly. “The relevant point here … You’re subtly avoiding the question. What I wanted to know was, why are you writing this book? You said it was because there was something about that photograph. But that’s just the semblance of an answer—there’s nothing substantial about it. Pay attention to what I’m asking you now.
What was it
that drew you to that photograph? I would like you to explain by focusing on the question of
what it was
exactly. I expect the real answer is to be found there.”
    I get the feeling that he is not just an ordinary guy. It may not be outwardly apparent, but it seems as though something inside him might go off at any moment.
    “You want to know what it was about the photo. I doubt the answer will satisfy you.”
    “All right.”
    “… When I saw that photo, I felt like I wanted to push my way through.”
    As I speak, my heart pounds slightly.
    “Through all those disruptive butterflies. I felt like I wanted leave everything behind, to push my way through those butterflies, and give it all up. It seemed to me that my own essence was to be found there. That until now, myentire life had been completely distorted … I’m a member of K2.”
    I take in a breath. As deeply as I can.
    “However, I had never lost anyone close to me. So there was no reason for the doll creator to construct a memento doll for me. I had no interest in one of those ridiculous real-woman dolls. Nor did I have any proclivity for forcing myself on a doll … Nevertheless, I spent all my time at his mansion.”
    “… I don’t understand.”
    “Right.”
    It has been quiet this whole time in the coffee shop. There are several crude lights suspended from cords, and they dangle like hanged men.
    “K2,” Katani murmurs. “I had been in regular contact with him up until about when he was chasing after butterflies. By the time he was in K2, when he had turned his interest toward dolls, we had pretty much drifted apart. To begin with, although we may have spoken to each other often, we never had very meaningful conversations … You ought to