Last Continent Read Online Free PDF Page B

said the SeniorWrangler. “Besides, sensible men should be in bed at three A.M .”
    “Yes, indeed,” said the Dean meaningfully.
    Ridcully thumped on the door. “I demand that you open up!” he shouted. “I am the Master of this College!”
    The door moved under the blow, but not very much. It was blocked by what turned out to be, after some strenuous shoving by all the wizards, an enormous pile of paperwork. The Dean picked up a yellowing piece of paper.
    “This is the memo saying I’ve been appointed as Dean!” he said. “That was years ago!”
    “Surely he must come out somet—” said the Senior Wrangler. “Oh dear…”
    The same thought had occurred to the other wizards, too.
    “Remember poor old Wally Sluvver?” murmured the Chair of Indefinite Studies, looking around in some trepidation. “Three years of tutorials postmortem .”
    “Well, the students did say he was a bit quiet,” said Ridcully. He sniffed. “Doesn’t smell bad in here . Quite fresh, really. Pleasantly salty. Aha…”
    There was bright light under a door at the other end of the crowded and dusty room, and the wizards could hear a gentle splashing.
    “Bath night. Good man,” said Ridcully. “Well, we don’t have to disturb him.”
    He peered at the titles of the books that lined the room.
    “Bound to be a lot about EcksEcksEcksEcks somewhere here,” he added, pulling out a volume atrandom. “Come along. One man, one book each.”
    “Can we at least send out for some breakfast?” grumbled the Dean.
    “Far too early for breakfast,” said Ridcully.
    “Well, some supper, then?”
    “Too late for supper.”
    The Chair of Indefinite Studies took in the rest of the room. A lizard scuttled across the wall and disappeared.
    “Bit of a mess in here, isn’t there?” he said, glaring at the place where the lizard had been. “Everything’s very dusty. What’s in all those boxes?”
    “Says ‘Rocks’ on this side,” said the Dean. “Makes sense. If you’re going to study the outdoors, do it in the warm.”
    “But what about all the fishing nets and coconuts?”
    The Dean had to agree the point. The study was a mess, even by the extremely expansive standards of wizardry. Boxes of dusty rocks occupied the little space that wasn’t covered with books and paper. They had been variously labeled, with inscriptions like “Rocks from Lower Down,” “Other Rocks,” “Curious Rocks” and “Probably Not Rocks.” Further boxes, to Ponder’s rising interest, were marked “Remarkable Bones,” “Bones” and “Dull Bones.”
    “One of those people who pokes his nose where it doesn’t belong, I fancy,” said the Lecturer in Recent Runes, and sniffed. He sniffed again, and looked down at the book he’d picked at random.
    “This is a pressed squid collection,” he said.
    “Oh, is it any good? I used to collect starfish when I was a boy,” said Ponder.
    The Lecturer in Recent Runes shut the book andfrowned at him over the top of it. “I daresay you did, young man. And old fossils too, I expect.”
    “I always thought that old fossils might have a lot to teach us,” said Ponder. “Perhaps I was wrong,” he added darkly.
    “Well, I for one have never believed all that business about dead animals turning into stone,” said the Lecturer in Recent Runes. “It’s against all reason. What’s in it for them?”
    “So how do you explain fossils, then?” said Ponder.
    “Ah, you see, I don’t,” said the Lecturer in Recent Runes, with a triumphant smile. “It saves so much trouble in the long run. How do skinless sausages hold together, Mister Stibbons?”
    “What? Eh? How should I know something like that?”
    “Really? You don’t know that but you think you’re entirely qualified to know how the whole universe was put together, do you? Anyway, you don’t have to explain fossils. They’re there . Why try to turn everything into a big mystery? If you go around asking questions the whole time you’ll never