Landed Gently

Landed Gently Read Online Free PDF Page A

Book: Landed Gently Read Online Free PDF
Author: Alan Hunter
revolting sex-treacle their radio pumps into them, but is it? Is it? Would the radio, films and other pimps bother about it if they weren’t sure of a psychopathic demand?’
    ‘Say, Les, you’re talking about the Great American Nation!’
    ‘I certainly am, little Don Juan Doughboy.’ Brass ruffled Earle’s boyish locks with a sort of contemptuous affection. ‘God’s gift to corruption with a loud voice – America! The Brave New World with a petticoat rampant! I say your youth is psychopathic, little man; it’s got sex on the brain. And you are a fine example, little Check-with-Kinsey; you prove my point every other time you open your mouth.’
    ‘Now, Les, how can you say these things to me!’
    ‘Why not, petit sex-fiend?’
    ‘Right here, in front of the people!’
    ‘They are rational, mon ami , not one of them comes from Boston.’
    ‘Heck, I give you up!’ Earle turned to Gently with a despairing wave of his hand. ‘This guy just hates the American Nation, lock, stock and spittoon – can you imagine it? I tell him if it wasn’t for America there wouldn’t be nothing interesting going on, like the numbers racket and Billy Graham. But no, he’s dug his toes in. That guy has got no gratitood. Guess it’ll have to wait till I get him down to Missouri and feed him southern-style fried chicken.’
    ‘Is that a recipe for America-haters?’ enquired Gently with interest.
    ‘Why yes, I’ll say it is. The way my momma cooks fried chicken would make an American citizen out of a top-brass Red. You never been to America, Gently?’
    Gently shook his head. ‘It’s always been on my agenda.’
    ‘Sakes, you don’t know what you’re missing! You come down to Missouri – any time, any day. This old buzzard here is going to make the trip next fall, and Janice hasn’t said no to it, leastways not in my hearing.’
    Mrs Page shrugged her shapely shoulders. ‘Bill, you talk too much,’ she said. ‘And if you go on inviting people down to Missouri, you’ll have to charter the Queen Mary to get them all there. Now be a dear and fetch me another sherry – and I’m sure Mr Gently would like to have his glass topped up.’
    ‘To hear is to obey, Princess!’
    Earle jumped from the settee and knelt gallantly to take Mrs Page’s glass from her.
    ‘The Carpetville Heart-Throb!’ grinned Brass to Gently. ‘But the boy has talent, make no mistake. He’s done a cracking good cartoon since he was here last, real tapestry stuff. I’m going to let him use a spare low-warp loom we’ve got here to weave it on. He’s not much of a tapissier yet, but spoiling his nice cartoon will teach him plenty. On the quiet I’m going to have a go at it myself … it’s too good a cartoon to let him waste.’
    ‘I’m afraid this is rather over my head, Mr Brass,’ Gently admitted.
    ‘It won’t be,’ laughed Mrs Page, ‘not if Les gets his claws in you. We live and eat and sleep tapestry here, Mr Gently.’
    ‘So you do, madam, so you do,’ assented Brasssardonically. ‘It’s the only way to produce tapestry. Come up after Christmas, Gently, and I’ll show you over the workshop. You have to get the stink of wool in your nostrils before you can understand tapestry.’
    Gently agreed readily enough. He felt he would like to have a private session with Brass. All the time they had been talking together Somerhayes’s glances had kept wandering in their direction, and Gently was reasonably certain that Brass could offer him enlightenment . What was the enigmatic nobleman’s interest in him? Surely he wasn’t being carried away by the glamour of Gently’s ‘Yard’ tag! Under the cover of filling Dutt’s pipe, Gently unobtrusively quizzed his host, adding detail to his rather confused impression of him. Assuredly there was the stamp of high breeding in his features. The high, straight forehead, the perfectly chiselled nose, the high cheekbones instinct with pride, the thin-lipped mouth, the small, graceful chin
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