Lamentation Read Online Free PDF

someone’s beck and call. I didn’t own a computer. Rarely used the Internet for anything. Didn’t even have an email address. At least not one I ever checked. I didn’t have time to sit on my ass playing video games or ogling pictures of naked women. I was too busy busting my ass to keep my head above water.
    I could picture this business of his. A gang of pasty dope fiends gacking over circuit boards and Legend of Zelda, or whatever nerds played these days. I supposed I should’ve applauded his initiative, told him I was proud of him for at least trying, provided positive feedback, but I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm. It was too late in the game, especially when I knew feeding the habit comes first, and that its appetite is insatiable. So what did it matter? Whatever ambition my brother had shown wouldn’t last long; it’d be up with the smoke he inhaled to get high. You can’t have a life when you are on drugs. Because being on drugs
is
your life.
    A truck outside backfired, and my brother practically jumped out of his ragged old kicks.
    He caught me laughing.
    “What’s so funny?”
    “Nothing,” I said. “I’m glad you’ve started a company, a business, whatever you and Pete are doing. Really. It’s terrific.”
    He turned around and faced me, eyes glassed over as he tongued a scab on the corner of his blistered lips.
    “But you didn’t help your cause with Turley down at the station. Guy’s just trying to help out some old woman who’s worried about her son. You should know you’re only going to make it worse by carrying on like a lunatic. Everyone knows you around here. Just being high is against the law. Turley and Pat Sumner can lock you up for that. All they need to do is draw your blood. How long you think you’d last in a real prison?”
    “We found something, Jay.”
    “What do you mean, ‘you found something’?”
    “Someone dropped off a computer. We were cleaning the hard drive. That’s what we do. Erase the hard drive, remove old files, data, pictures. We—found something.”
    “Erase?” I started to get it. “You mean you go rooting around for personal information you can use.” I might not have known a lot about computers, but I wasn’t stupid. Phony credit cards were a billion dollar industry.
    Chris smirked.
    “Jesus Christ,” I said, pushing myself up.
    “Sure, sometimes we have a look around. What’s the big deal? They’re throwing the things away. What are you getting all pissed off for?”
    “Because people are trusting you to do a job. I know that word doesn’t mean anything to you. But it’s how the rest of the world operates. And you are taking advantage of them. Identity theft? That’s what you’re into these days, Chris?”
    You’d have to be an idiot to drop off a computer to my brother and his junkie pals.
    He wet his lips, bobbing like a madman, crazy eyes bugging again. “You’re missing my point. We uncovered something. It’s big, man.”
    “What? Someone’s bank statement?”
    “Ain’t no bank statement, little brother. I mean, big.
Really big
. What we found is going to
rock
this town. I’m talking shake this fucker to the core!” He pointed frantically at his pigeon chest. “Gonna see I was right all along. Gonna see—”
    I’d had enough. Given my brother’s refusal to appreciate the gravity of his situation, I didn’t see the point in humoring his persecution fantasies or delusions of grandeur any longer. If he wasn’t going to take his life seriously, why should I?
    I patted him on the back. “Okay, Sam Spade. Blankets are in the closet there. Take the couch. Get some sleep. There’s nothing here worth stealing, and if I find something missing in the morning, I swear to fucking God, Chris, it’ll be the last time I ever let you inside.”
    My brother grabbed my wrist.
    The soft light of the room yellowed his flesh like greasy chicken skin.
    “What?”
    He dropped his voice to a whisper. “You need to hear what I have to