caught when I tail someone. I found inconspicuous places to
park around the various restaurants and offices he visited every week. In order
to be sure I'd get good shots, I started taking establishing photos of him
alone. I printed them out and almost immediately had a strange reaction to the
photos. I thought I was having déjà vu, so I looked over the photos again and
again to find what it was. And then I simply had to admit to myself that I was
staring at this man's face, dreaming about him.”
“So you didn't want to piss off your
client by doing her husband?”
“No,” he said, “it's not that.
Understand that before that time, I had always believed myself to be straight.
I had held all of it inside, and it was eating me up.”
“It's good you came out then,” I
said. “Did you catch that guy in the act?”
“Almost immediately. He had several
lovers all over L.A. He even had an apartment in West Hollywood that he had
kept hidden from his wife. One of his lovers lived there. Oh, clever Ignacio—that's
the husband's name. He's half Spanish.”
“I'd of kicked his balls in if I was
his wife. Did she go crazy all over him?” I asked.
“Well...She never found out. I
approached Ignacio one day with some of the more candid photos I had taken and
showed them to him. I opened up and explained who I was, but told him I could
no longer go through with it because I was having...feelings. He seemed to
understand what I was talking about. It must have been written all over my
face. He invited me to dinner to talk it over. It seems like a cliché, but he's
the only one who really understood where I was coming from. After a little
while he broke it off with all the others. We've been together ever since.”
“What happened to the wife?”
“Oh, she still doesn't have a clue. I
showed her a bunch of photos of him exiting buildings all by himself and told
her he was just a busy businessman.”
“Why is he staying with her?” I
asked.
“Her father is very wealthy and is about
to pass on. When he does...” he said and then stopped. He seemed to realize he
was telling me too much. “Well, let's just say that Ignacio and I will be
together then.”
“Damn. You were a detective guy, and
one day all that changed,” I said.
“The thing is, I don't know how to
be like Ignacio wants me to be. Look at me in this outfit. Sometimes I don't
know why I can't just throw on my old clothes, except now that I've lost so
much weight they don't fit me anymore. I think I was overeating before out of
anxiety. I used to be as fat as...well, I was closer to your size. Ignacio
helped me start exercising because he doesn't like heavy men. He also said I
needed to update my wardrobe to reflect my new life, but this just isn't
comfortable.”
“I'd get rid of the scarf thing.
That makes it look like you're trying too hard,” I said.
He took it off. He looked much
better. And out of the sunlight, I couldn't see much of that other business
either.
“What kind of dog is that?” I asked.
It was standing outside drooling all over the sliding-glass door.
“It's a royal standard poodle. A
gift from Ignacio. He's about eight months old, so he requires a lot of
attention. I can't leave him alone, and he's a bitch to travel with.”
Dennis got up and let the beast in.
I always thought poodles were boring, but this huge thing ran around like he
was nuts. He jumped up on the couch, stepped all over my balls and licked my
face. Dennis came over and put him on the floor, but he jumped back up
immediately.
“Sorry,” he said.
“No problem. At least I know he
likes me. What's his name?”
“Manolete.”
There was no way I was going to call
this dog Manolete. It didn't look like a Manolete at all—not that I knew what
one of those looked like. It looked more like a big hairy scrotum, with all that
tight curly hair done up in circles. I decided to call it Ballsack, at least
after this Dennis guy took off.
“So what do you need