Knee Deep Read Online Free PDF Page B

Ronnie. I’m sorry. I don’t mean it.” She bumps my shoulder with hers.
    “It’s true. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I’m sure I’m just being stupid and overly romantic about the whole thing.
    She bites her lip as if she’s about to say something, but keeps it to herself.
    I’m relieved. “Your first…?” Time to get back to Mindy.
    “Made out in the boy’s locker room.” She giggles.
    Giggling. That’s good. Better than me thinking about Shawn’s dad, or how weird I must be for not wanting to have sex with my boyfriend. “Doesn’t it smell in there?” I ask. Not to mention no privacy, and just…gross. And as crazy as it is, I’m actually preferring to think about the smelly boys’ locker room than our last topic.
    “Why yes it does.” She laughs. “He grabbed me and dragged me in there after school, both of us were laughing, and then it was like we were alone in this room and we weren’t laughing anymore, and it makes me all happy just to think about it.”
    “Great, Mindy.” I shake my head, partially feeling like I just indulged a five year old with their favorite snack. “You can add it.”
    “I will.” She sits up tall and smug, taking the notebook from my grasp.
    “Nothing for me.” I sigh, yet another weight settling on me. “Like always.” I certainly can’t add in my night with Shawn and his screaming father. It’s still too crazy. Heavy.
    “I didn’t mean it, Ronnie. I just…if you’ve been together this long and you don’t really want to, what does that say?”
    “That I’m really cautious? That I’m just not ready?” I offer. What does it say? Am I that strange? Different? Will we get to a point where Shawn gets tired of waiting? Then I take a deep breath in, sliding my fingers over the bracelet he gave me the night he moved back. No. And this is the awesome part of being with someone like him. We’re solid. He loves me. Everything we do will happen when we both want it to. Shawn and I have forever.
    ***
    I step into the school’s theater for my first day of rehearsal. A sea of blue theater chairs fan out in front of me toward the stage. The soft yellow stage lights are on, reflecting only slightly on the black stage.
    My eyes scan the group already congregated. I recognize most of the people here, but not all. Like most of the time I’m in a long dress, and the fabric swishes around my ankles as I hold it up to climb onto the stage. I stare at my feet and then at the lights above, mostly because I’m not sure where I should be, and don’t want to sit in the wrong spot or next to the wrong person, or…
    “Ronnie.” Luke grins and waves me over.
    I take the spot next to him as Blackman walks the room, handing us each a script. I’ve already read and re-read the play, but this is the edited version. Shakespeare’s version is too long for a high school play.
    “We’ll be performing this in the correct dress of the day, per Master William’s instructions.” He gives us all a smile. He’s a tall thin man, like a string bean, but when he’s on the stage, like he is now, he looks even taller and thinner. He sports a small mustache—giving him the nickname Hitler—even though he’s one of the nicest teachers in school.
    “Let’s find a comfy spot, circle up, and do a read-through.” He drops to a cross-legged sitting position, and we all follow suit forming a wobbly large circle on the well-worn, black painted boards of the stage.
    Again, the number of blue seats stretching outward from the stage hollows out my chest, making me afraid of the staring faces that will occupy them—even though the chances of me actually doing any performing are slim. It’s imposing but also powerful—even though no one’s here.
    He asks us to announce our roles one at a time. Luke is Romeo and Liesl is Juliet. Liesl’s a pretty, round-faced girl, with smooth blonde hair. Everyone knows her, because she does everything—student government, sports, theater,