for the pretzels sitting on the ottoman and pops one in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. "That's why he had to grind his hips in your face, so you'd know it was there."
"Yeah, probably."
"Well Lana Dubois said he does and I guess that's enough proof for me."
"Well Lana would know. She's seen enough of them." We snicker. Hey, I'm not trying to be rude, but Lana gets around.... if you know what I mean.
"So... you didn't try to look at all?" Jenna tries again. "Check out the package? I mean, since you were down there by it..."
"You're sick, do you know that?"
"You're not sick enough !" She tips her head back and talks to the ceiling. "I try and I try with her... she's such a disappointment." Jenna shakes her head in mock disgust, and I throw my head back too before I burst out laughing.
"You try with me ?! How?! All you think about is sex and you haven't even had it yet!"
Of course, this is the exact moment my mom decides to pop her head into the room, because duh, that's how life works when you're a teenager still living in your parents' house. They always catch the dumb shit you don't want them to hear.
"Ladies." She doesn't say anything else, but instead stands there assessing us from the doorway. She's wearing an apron and has an oven mitt on her hand. I know she heard the shouting, and I know she heard the word 'sex' peppered into my last sentence. I can tell she wants to say something, but she puckers her mouth and chews on her lip instead (this is my mom's classic signature move: pursing her lips when she's displeased).
"What's up mamma?" Jenna asks, smiling broadly. Ugh, she is such a brat - but a brat that both my parents love. "Are you baking Mrs. W?"
Odd, given that it's almost 7:00 in the evening. My legs are getting hot, so I stick my feet out of the blanket that's covering my lower half.
"Actually, yes. I started baking cupcakes for Shelly's Bunco party tomorrow night. I won't have any time tomorrow because Rex needs to be taken to the vet, among other things." Rex is our 7 year old Golden Retriever. "If you hear the doorbell can one of you grab it?" At my questioning gaze, she asks, "Has your dad talked to you yet?"
"About....?"
"He has some students coming over for that focus group. You know, for the changes they're making to the sports stadium? I don't know if he mentioned it, but the meeting is tonight."
"Yes!" Jenna pumps her fist. "Ba-ring on the hotties!"
Remember how earlier I mentioned my dad is on the school board for our district? Well, our region was fortunate enough to receive a grant with sufficient funds to completely overhaul the sports complex (which is crazy outdated) - so my dad created a steering committee of actual student athletes to provide insight; which only makes sense since they're the ones who use the facility. Volleyball, basketball... hockey.
I'm really proud of my dad. How he finds time to volunteer in the community, work full-time, and spend time with us, I'll never know. But what an amazing guy.
A little too busy - but amazing.
"Oh mamma, you know we have no problem getting the door when the jocks arrive." This from Jenna. My mom stands there and takes a long look at us before shaking her head.
"I don't know about you two sometimes," she laughs. "Have you eaten anything tonight Jenna? I have leftover pot roast in the fridge."
"Thanks, but I had pizza with Alex. Hey, did Molly happen to mention she had junk in her face at school today?"
"Jenna!" I yell, jumping up from the couch and pounce on her. She is a giggling, hysterical mess as she tries to shove me off. "You loud mouth!" I feel a leg connect with my stomach and I roll to the floor. "I swear, one of these days I'm going to stuff a sock in your loud mouth."
My mom crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. I can tell she's trying to determine the validity of Jenna's statement.
Apparently she's decided we're morons, so she walks off.
This is how the next half hour of the night went: me and Jenna hopping off the
"Yeah, probably."
"Well Lana Dubois said he does and I guess that's enough proof for me."
"Well Lana would know. She's seen enough of them." We snicker. Hey, I'm not trying to be rude, but Lana gets around.... if you know what I mean.
"So... you didn't try to look at all?" Jenna tries again. "Check out the package? I mean, since you were down there by it..."
"You're sick, do you know that?"
"You're not sick enough !" She tips her head back and talks to the ceiling. "I try and I try with her... she's such a disappointment." Jenna shakes her head in mock disgust, and I throw my head back too before I burst out laughing.
"You try with me ?! How?! All you think about is sex and you haven't even had it yet!"
Of course, this is the exact moment my mom decides to pop her head into the room, because duh, that's how life works when you're a teenager still living in your parents' house. They always catch the dumb shit you don't want them to hear.
"Ladies." She doesn't say anything else, but instead stands there assessing us from the doorway. She's wearing an apron and has an oven mitt on her hand. I know she heard the shouting, and I know she heard the word 'sex' peppered into my last sentence. I can tell she wants to say something, but she puckers her mouth and chews on her lip instead (this is my mom's classic signature move: pursing her lips when she's displeased).
"What's up mamma?" Jenna asks, smiling broadly. Ugh, she is such a brat - but a brat that both my parents love. "Are you baking Mrs. W?"
Odd, given that it's almost 7:00 in the evening. My legs are getting hot, so I stick my feet out of the blanket that's covering my lower half.
"Actually, yes. I started baking cupcakes for Shelly's Bunco party tomorrow night. I won't have any time tomorrow because Rex needs to be taken to the vet, among other things." Rex is our 7 year old Golden Retriever. "If you hear the doorbell can one of you grab it?" At my questioning gaze, she asks, "Has your dad talked to you yet?"
"About....?"
"He has some students coming over for that focus group. You know, for the changes they're making to the sports stadium? I don't know if he mentioned it, but the meeting is tonight."
"Yes!" Jenna pumps her fist. "Ba-ring on the hotties!"
Remember how earlier I mentioned my dad is on the school board for our district? Well, our region was fortunate enough to receive a grant with sufficient funds to completely overhaul the sports complex (which is crazy outdated) - so my dad created a steering committee of actual student athletes to provide insight; which only makes sense since they're the ones who use the facility. Volleyball, basketball... hockey.
I'm really proud of my dad. How he finds time to volunteer in the community, work full-time, and spend time with us, I'll never know. But what an amazing guy.
A little too busy - but amazing.
"Oh mamma, you know we have no problem getting the door when the jocks arrive." This from Jenna. My mom stands there and takes a long look at us before shaking her head.
"I don't know about you two sometimes," she laughs. "Have you eaten anything tonight Jenna? I have leftover pot roast in the fridge."
"Thanks, but I had pizza with Alex. Hey, did Molly happen to mention she had junk in her face at school today?"
"Jenna!" I yell, jumping up from the couch and pounce on her. She is a giggling, hysterical mess as she tries to shove me off. "You loud mouth!" I feel a leg connect with my stomach and I roll to the floor. "I swear, one of these days I'm going to stuff a sock in your loud mouth."
My mom crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. I can tell she's trying to determine the validity of Jenna's statement.
Apparently she's decided we're morons, so she walks off.
This is how the next half hour of the night went: me and Jenna hopping off the
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