Kissing Fire Read Online Free PDF

have I gotten myself
into?
    “No! For the love of God forget about Little Dickie!
Look, Melissa is not a terrorist and that is not a bomb. I have to
catch a plane so can I go?”
    “No, you can’t go. You may be going to jail, or even
worse, GTMO.”
    “Jail? GTMO? You mean Gitmo, as in Guantanamo Bay?
Because of a present? What the hell?”
    “Yes, Miss Middleton. You are in serious trouble
here. It is a federal offense to carry a bomb on an aircraft.”
    “Oh for the love of God, that isn’t a damn bomb.
Give me that box!” I yelled. I grabbed the box and ripped it open.
And holy Toledo, out popped one of those giant vibrating
wands...those kind that plug into the wall and come with all sorts
of attachments, kind of like a vacuum cleaner. This thing looked
like a hand held immersion blender. It was that huge. What the hell
had Melissa been thinking? I could get half of Seattle off with
this thing.
    I looked up at the room full of people and their
eyes looked like they were ready to roll out of their heads. Two of
them had even drawn their guns and that damn dog was still growling
and snapping.
    “I wouldn’t shoot it if I were you. It might be
kinda hard to explain that you shot a vibrator thinking it was a
bomb. Wouldn’t look too good on your record, if you ask me.”
    They all just kept staring at me.
    “What? Haven’t any of you ever seen
a damn vibrator before?” Honestly, I’d never seen one like this before either, but I
wasn’t gonna let them know that. “Stop already with the looks. You
guys use your hands, we women like our toys, okay?”
    FBI guy finally said, “Er, Miss Middleton, I think
you can go now,” as he cleared his throat.
    “Thanks. Oh, can I have my box too?” I winked as I
grabbed the box. Then I asked, “Would one of you boys mind
escorting me back to my belongings? I have no idea where I am.” I
smiled ever so sweetly to them. That was one thing I learned from
my mom. We Southern women knew how to smile sweetly.
     
    ********
     
    Thank God I made my flight. I was connecting in
Atlanta and if I had missed it, there was no telling how long I
would’ve had to wait for the next one. By the time I got to
Seattle, I was exhausted. I don’t know what it is about flying, but
it took the steam right out of my engine.
    I was to meet my new boss in the morning, so I
checked into my hotel, ordered room service and got ready for bed.
It didn’t matter that it was only seven in the evening. I was worn
out.
    I called Melissa and cussed her out. I thought I
gave her a heart attack she laughed so hard.
    “Don’t worry Ava, I’m gonna be your new best friend
once you use that thing.”
    “Melissa, that thing scares me to death. I’m afraid
of it!”
    We chatted a bit more and then I drifted off to
sleep.
    The alarm shocked me when it went off and I banged
my head on the doorway heading into the bathroom. I was
disoriented, thinking I was at home. I crashed into the door frame
with my forehead and it throbbed for the good part of an hour. I
was sure to have a good bruise there before long.
    Since I didn’t know what the office dress code would
be, I erred on the side of caution and wore a black pant suit. That
would help disguise some of my girth as well. I hit the hotel
restaurant and ate an omelet with coffee. I would’ve ordered grits,
but they weren’t on the menu here. The West coast didn’t believe in
grits, I guessed.
    The bellman flagged a taxi for me and I was at
SoftwarePlus in no time really. I’d chosen the hotel, based on my
new boss’ recommendation. It had worked out perfectly.
    I gave my name at the desk and they gave me a
visitor’s badge and told me where to go. By the time I got there,
John Bremen, my boss, was waiting for me.
    “Welcome to SoftwarePlus, Avery,” he held out his
hand and I shook it.
    We did all the usual first day paperwork stuff. Ugh,
I hated this stuff. All the HR forms, benefits stuff, 401k and
other usual necessities. Then he took me on a