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big time now.
    Sophistication with a capital S.
     
    Just when you thought it was safe to go to the beach
     
    April 6, 1988
    Fun and frolics reigned at Haulover Beach again this past weekend, as scores of chowderheads ignored posted warnings and plunged straight into a dangerous riptide.
    If that weren’t enough excitement, a mob of male high-school kids attacked several teenage girls, ripping off all their clothes, grabbing their breasts and genitals and chasing them down the beach. When one of the Haulover lifeguards tried to shield one of the girls, he was kicked repeatedly.
    “She was naked and they were grabbing her. I just wanted to get her out of the crowd,” said the lifeguard, Ken Chouinard. “It made me sick, and it also made me fearful for the people who come out here.”
    Some of these festivities were captured on tape by a WTVJ-Channel 4 news crew and should be recommended viewing for anyone who is considering a leisurely family outing at Haulover.
    For years this has been a trouble spot, though the parks department doesn’t advertise the fact. Keeping the beach safe apparently is a low priority in the budget, as evidenced by the minimal way in which the county polices the area and staffs its lifeguard crews.
    “We get the same consideration as macrame classes and kickball games,” says Lt. David Battenfield, a Haulover lifeguard for the past 15 years. “This county is providing people access to this beach, but it’s not providing their protection.”
    For a long time, the lifeguards have been trying to get someone to pay attention. The near-riot this weekend, combined with the perilous surf conditions, portend a disaster in the makingan expensive one.
    Currently, Haulover Park has 11 full-time lifeguards on staff. Part-timers are hired to fill out the shifts, though many are not trained as emergency medical technicians, as the full-time lifeguards usually are.
    Haulover Beach is about 1.4 miles long, but almost 43 percent is out of immediate range of a lifeguard tower and basically unguarded. The biggest stretch between towers measures 810 yardsa long way to run, if somebody’s drowning at the other end.
    The last accident took place March 23. Lifeguards got there swiftly and pulled the 42-year-old tourist out of the water, but he died later.
    The miracle is that it doesn’t happen more often. During the past week or so, strong winds and spring tidal conditions have made Haulover particularly treacherous, with invisible run-out currents sweeping many swimmers out toward the open water. Lifeguards officially closed the beach on three days, but plenty of idiotic showoffs hopped in anyway.
    On March 27, Haulover lifeguards logged 10 rescues. On March 29, the number was nine. On March 30, it was 15. Business peaked again this past weekend with 19 rescues on Saturday and 28 more on Sunday.
    While the park is much more crowded than it was in 1975, there are five fewer full-time lifeguards now. During last year’s budget crunch, the county proposed cutting back even more on the staffs, but the lifeguards successfully argued against it.
    Today the lifeguards meet with county parks officials to pleadagainfor help in making the beach safer. They aren’t asking for salary hikes; they want more lifeguards, more towers and better lifesaving equipment. They also want a regular and visible police presence.
    Saturday’s clothes-ripping melee took place with a Metro crime suppression team nearby. Still, the teenagers ran wild. “A combat zone,” Battenfield said. No arrests were made at the scene; police say they are trying to identify the assailants.
    On the bright side, at least nobody took a bullet.
    On March 26, startled Haulover beachgoers watched as one man pulled out a machine gun and shot another, while still a third drew his own pistol and popped off a few rounds. A bystander was shot and wounded as he walked his three children out of the park.
    Just another day at the beach. If the undertow doesn’t