Keep: The Wedding: Romanian Mob Chronicles Read Online Free PDF Page B

right.
    “Why are you frowning like that?” Esther said, scrutinizing me with her intense gaze.
    “Sorry, just thinking,” I said.
    “Did you hear anything I said?” she asked.
    I looked at her through lowered eyes and she huffed. “We’ll pick that up momentarily, but I said, ‘So sue me for being nervous.’ You know what happened the last time you introduced me to a new friend.”
    She didn’t mean anything by it, but I felt a stab of guilt. I never would have guessed that Natasha had intended Esther harm, but I was, even in a roundabout way, responsible for what had almost happened to her, and for that I would be forever sorry. Natasha had been in love with Esther’s husband Sorin and had conspired to have Esther killed. Fortunately, Natasha’s plan had failed, but it had been a close thing.
    “I wonder what happened to her,” Esther said a moment later.
    “Don’t,” I replied vehemently, looking at Esther with sharp eyes. She was treading on dangerous ground. That train of thought could undo her, and I would do my best to make sure that didn’t happen.
    Esther frowned at the sharpness in my tone, but I didn’t relent. “I’m serious, Esther. Don’t think about her. Don’t wonder. It will drive you crazy. Or ruin your life.”
    “I don’t that often, just sometimes…” she started and then trailed off yet again, something that was uncommon for my usually confident friend.
    I understood what she meant, and I knew that Esther still struggled. She wasn’t as acclimated to this lifestyle as I, and as happy and crazy as Sorin made her, I knew she still hadn’t quite wrapped her head around what being with a man like him meant, the sacrifices she’d have to make, the seemingly normal things that were off-limits to us now.
    “Meeting Lily will be good for you,” I said, changing the subject. “We’re great together, but we need to meet new people. You said it yourself.”
    “Yeah, yeah, okay, so I’ll meet your new friend, but you have to sit in between us, and I’m bringing my Taser,” Esther said. She came back over to me and then sat next to me, patting Baby Sorin’s head as he began to nod off. “Now that that’s settled, what’s got you down?” she asked.
    I glanced at Maria as she busily dug in the sandbox, happily chattering to herself. Then I looked at my best friend, the one who had been lost to me for so many years but who had come back into my life like a whirlwind, one that was so welcome. The relief I felt at having her back was only more acute as I thought of how I’d missed her in the years we had been apart.
    I felt on the verge of tears, but I choked them back.
    “I feel stupid for even thinking this,” I said, my voice thickening from the tears that threatened. “I mean, really, crying because of something so stupid,” I said.
    “Can you clue me in?” Esther replied, stern but still sympathetic.
    “It’s not important. We’ve talked about it before and there’s no solution, so I just need to shut up and stop whining like a two-year-old.”
    Esther frowned. “Don’t do that, Fawn,” she said.
    I didn’t ask for clarification because I knew what she meant. She, Vasile, even Sorin often corrected me when I said bad things about myself. I really tried, but sometimes, like today, it was difficult. Especially when I was in such a state over something that ultimately didn’t matter, even though I grappled with the fact that despite how little it mattered, I wanted it anyway.
    “I just feel stupid. And jealous.”
    “Of…?” Esther said.
    “You. Lily, who I hope will be our new friend,” I finally said.
    “You’re jealous of me? For what possible reason—oh,” Esther finally said, nodding knowingly. “The husband thing?”
    “How stupid is that?” I said.
    “Fawn, we’ve talked about this. There’s nothing stupid about wanting your man to marry you. Have you talked to him about it?” she asked.
    I shrugged. “I’ve mentioned it, but I