Just a Little Promise Read Online Free PDF

never let me walk away unjustified .
    I had to leave Oakland; I couldn’t stay anymore. The guilt has become too much for me. This house… the memories… it haunts me every day. I have to find myself again, Julie. I have no choice. If I want to survive this pain, I have to move on.
    You were right. T his box—and everything in it—is holding me back. I can’t keep living with the ghosts of my past . I have to put the past behind me now, and that includes you.
    Please understand that this isn’t personal. I care about you… so much. But I can’t face another day with the reminder of who I really am, o r the places I’ve been. I can’t look in your eyes one more time and see the hurt and pain that my family caused.
    I need a new start… alone. Elvis is at the shelter ; he’ll find a good home, I’m sure .
    I’m sorry to leave you in a lurch with the parade, but I have a world of faith in you. You’ll do great.
    Maybe someday we’ll meet again…. I hope that’s the case. But now isn’t the time. I need to follow my heart. And s o do you.
    Thank you for being the friend I always needed,
    Derek
    p.s. I hope you find the happiness you ’re searc hing for, with or without Luke.
    I read the letter for a second time and wiped away my tears. I buried my face in my hands and cried, letting my tears seep through my fingers and create a puddle on the floor.
    It was a pain I had yet to experience… the kind that I’d accused Lonnie of inflicting on his own son . It was the pain of being abandoned … by choice.
    Derek wasn’ t really gone, but he had left.
    I dropped the letter to the floor and looked at the box.
    Why would he leave it here? What did he want me to do with it? I didn’t want those memories.
    I pulled the lid off the box and caught a sob in my throat.
    Ashes; he’d burned everything that he’d collected over the years. The pictures, the newspaper clippings, the suicide note his mother left… nothing but gray ash lining the bottom of the box.
    My heart ached as I stared at what was left of Derek’s room; there was n othing but four walls, a single window, and a box and envelope on the floor.
    It felt selfish to mourn after someone who’d intentionally left me behind, but somehow… I found the strength to smile. He was doing what he had to do. He finally trusted himself to be the person he wanted to be. It was the most admirable thing Derek had ever done.
    I picked up the box, the letter, and envelope, and carried them out of the room. I walked slowly through the hous e, taking the time to reminisce. As I stood at the front door, one foot already on the porch, I looked back in the house and nodded.
    “Thanks for the memories , ” I whispered, finally stepping out and closing the door behind me.
    I kept the key; it didn’t belong in the ground.
    I wanted to keep it with me— as long as I had to— just in case I ever needed it.
    Just in case I ever did run into Derek again… so I could give it back to him… and so he would know he could always come back home. There would always be a place for him in Oakland… and he would always have a place in my heart.

Chapter Five
    Saturday December 22
    I spent the better part of the week focusing on nothing but the parade. But w ithout Derek, I found myself drowning . I thought I could do it without him, and I probably could have… if I still had Grace on my side. But I hadn’t heard from her since the day I confronted Lonnie at the diner.
    I’d promised the Oakland Celebration Committee that I could handle the finer details alone, and I wanted to stay true to my word. But there was always this little voice in the back of my head, criticizing every move I made. The voice, strangely enough, always sounded like Charlie’s.
    “Kara,” I said, motioning for her to climb aboard the float. “Can you take your position for just a second? I need to get an idea of where we’re at.”
    Kara, Matt’s new girlfriend, was t he sweetes t girl I’d ever met.