smell comes along. Everyone groans again as I put him in the backseat. I ignore them and punch in Jerâs number. Itâs time to get out of this zoo.
âYo.â Jer sounds as if I woke him. âSpence. Whatâs happening?â
âWell,â I say, âIâm with GlâMiss Lorraine.â
âCool. So, mission accomplished? Youâve been a while. I must have snoozed. You done soon?â
âWell, thatâs the thing.â I know I have to be careful here. Gloria Lorraine still has the gun in her lap. âWeâre not exactly at the Lodge right now. Weâre, um, running some errands. Kind of. And itâs going to take us a couple more hoursââ
âDays,â says Gloria Lorraine
âDays,â I say.
âDAYS?â Thatâs me, Jer, Al and AmberLea all at once. Our voices go up like roller coasters.
Gloria Lorraine nods.
âUh, yeah, days,â I say to Jer.
âOr no kiss,â says Gloria Lorraine.
âOr no kiss,â I repeat. Oh yeah; for a moment Iâd forgotten that. âI guess I have to.â
âListen, Spence.â Jerâs voice gets firmer. âNo, you donât. This is screwy enough already. Tell me where you are and Iâll come get you.â
It sounds good to me. I look around. But what do I tell him? That Iâm sitting near a supermarket, behind a Dumpster, in a white Caddy with a trunk full of something that probably isnât icing sugar. Iâm with a grumpy girl, a sketchy baker, a stinky Chihuahua and a ninety-year-old with a loaded gun? Do I just say, Youâll know us when you see us ? For a second I wonder what Bunny would think of this. What will I tell him? I think of my cousins in France or Spain or Africa. What will I tell them? And AmberLea, who, while not superhot, is still pretty nice in skinny jeans: am I going to wimp out in front of her, just because her grandma waves a pistol with the safety off? What would I tell Grandpa? I think of how I dreamed of making my own movie. I take a deep breath. âNo,â I say, âitâs okay. Iâm cool with it. I have to make the movie.â
Behind me, Al says, âMovie? Over my dead body.â
âObviously that can be arranged,â says Gloria Lorraine. Mister Bones yelps.
âWas that a dog?â Jer asks.
âYeah, weâre at one of those dog-grooming places.â Where did that come from? I donât know. All I know is that Iâve got to finish this. âWhy donât you go back to Aunt Vickyâs?â
âTell him to go home,â says Gloria Lorraine. âIâll get you back there.â
âOr go home,â I say to Jer. âMiss Lorraine promises to get me back.â
âButââ Jer says.
âIâve got to go.â
âDamn right,â Al says.
I ignore him. âA couple of days. Iâll call. I promise. Nothing to worry about.â
âBut, Spenceââ
âTrust me,â I say. I switch off the phone. My heart is pounding, but itâs a good pounding. I think.
âThatâs more like it,â says Gloria Lorraine. âI bet thatâs what your grandpa would have done.â She points to the GPS . âNow, aim that thing north and get us to Canada.â
REEL TWO
EXT.âLONG SHOTâDAY
A white Cadillac convertible, top down, rolls slowly to a fortified border crossing on a country road: guard tower, machine guns, tank traps, sandbags topped with concertina wire. Armed sentries man the gate. As the Cadillac stops, a SOLDIER steps to driverâs side. SPENCER is driving, AMBERLEA (Amy Faris?) in front passenger seat, GLORIA LORRAINE (Betty White) in backseat with MISTER BONES on lap.
EXT.âWIDE SHOT LOOKING UP TO SOLDIER FROM SPENCERâS P.O.V.âDAY
SOLDIER
snapping fingers twice)
Papers. Passports.
EXT.âWIDE SHOT INTO CAR FROM OVER SOLDIERâS SHOULDERâDAY
SPENCER
(handing