Journey to the Centre of Myself Read Online Free PDF Page B

there’s the dining room and kitchen. There are sliding doors between every room so we can close them off if we wish. Usually, the house is minimal but as of the first of December, I trim up every available surface with seasonal fare. The lounge is now complete with a six foot black Christmas tree, dressed entirely in gold decorations. Some presents in matching gold and black paper lie underneath. Even the house phone’s ringtone is set to play ‘Jingle Bells.’ I adore Christmas.
    Will is already shuffling around in the kitchen; he’s opened the door to make it a kitchen/diner and the aroma of curry wafts through the air.
    I head towards him and peck his cheek. ‘Hey, you. What are we going to feed them?’
    ‘All in hand, Amber, all in hand.’
    ‘So how come we’ve finished up with guests at the last minute?’
    ‘Olly called to apologise for Friday night and it came up they weren’t doing anything so I invited them over.’
    ‘Does that include Alfie?’
    ‘Well, they come as a package now, don’t they? Anyway, that might be us soon, we wouldn’t want to be excluded because we had a kid would we?’
    ‘I thought that might be what this is about. Did they need to bring Alfie or is this you trying to give me a practice run?’
    Will looks guilty. ‘Well, I did kind of think it might be nice to watch them and imagine what it will be like for us.’
    I shake my head. ‘You’re a real softie, Will Stockley.’
    ‘Hey!’ He holds my waist and spins me around. ‘I can’t wait to make a baby with you. How cute’s it going to be, if it takes after me?’
    I thump him in the arm and pinch an onion bhaji from the counter. He slaps my hand. ‘Later. Honestly, you can never wait.’
    I can for some things I think. I could wait much longer.
     
    Upstairs I straighten my hair, add some shining product and apply makeup. Green eyeliner emphasises my hazel eyes. I slip on a loose burgundy tee and some skinny jeans and throw flip flops on my feet.
    ‘What time are they arriving?’ I call out as I head down the stairs.
    Will doesn’t hear me with the pans clattering around. I study the front door and just for a moment, a split second, I consider running through it and going to the Hula bar. I take a deep breath and head back to Will. ‘When are they coming?’ I repeat.
    ‘Any minute. They said between six thirty and seven. Apparently Alfie sleeps in a bed now, so they’ll put him down around eight and then we can have some grown up time.’
    ‘He’s going in our bed?’ Thoughts of drool or urine fill my mind.
    ‘Yep, they said they’d bring the travel cot, but I didn’t see the point.’
    No, you wouldn’t. You’re not the one who’ll have to change and wash all the covers.
     
    Olly, Sam and Alfie turn up at twenty past seven. Sam can barely look Olly in the eyes, her teeth are gritted. Alfie is wailing, arms clasped around his mum’s neck. Olly breezes in, hugging us both. He hands Will a bottle of wine and stands in the doorway yawning, stretching his arms so his grey tee-shirt reveals some of his stomach. A stomach I know used to be toned to perfection, but now gives me a glimpse of a slight roll of white flab.
    ‘Christ, we were up half the night with him.’
    ‘We?’ snaps Sam. ‘You mean you turned your head a couple of times and asked if I could get him to be quiet?’
    ‘Well, I have to get up for work.’
    ‘And I’m up every morning with your child.’
    ‘Exactly, that’s your job.’
    ‘Come through and let me get you a glass of that wine.’ I grab Alfie out of Sam’s arms and pass him to Will. ‘There you go, you wanted practice.’
    Sam looks shocked. Alfie himself has shut up, confused at being confronted with Uncle Will. He hasn’t decided whether to bawl harder at being separated from his mother or stay with the guy who spoils him rotten. Will pulls a face and Alfie shivers, his mouth wobbles and then a huge beam crosses his face. ‘Unc ill’.
    ‘That’s right mate,