Joe Pitt 5 - My Dead Body Read Online Free PDF

fist.
    --Yes, she did.
    --And she dug it.
    He takes the cigar from between his lips and lets loose a cloud.
    --Against all better judgment, yes she did.
    I stand up, brushing dirt from my backside, not that it makes me look any cleaner.
    --A girl would have to be pretty adaptable to take something like that at point-blank and roll with it. I mean, tell a girl you’re a Vampyre, out of the blue, that’s generally an invitation to be considered a nut job. Most girls, they exit laughing or screaming. Depending on the type.
    He doesn’t say anything.
    I do.
    --Unless she had some idea that things like that are real. She have some idea that things like that are real, Chubby?
    He’s studying the cigar again.
    --It is possible, that in an effort to entertain and impress her, that I may have told her one story too many. With too great a level of credibility.
    He looks up from the cigar.
    --Fathers, whether they admit it or not, do so want to be thought cool by their children. And vampires have quite the pop culture caché. Forbidden fruit of every shape and hue. I was able to suggest, without telling her more than the basics, that there might be more to the myth than capes and fangs or dewy teenage boys.
    I start poking in some corners of the shanty, looking for odds and ends I’ve tucked here and there.
    --Out of curiosity, you happen to know what kind of site they met on?
    He makes a gesture with the cigar, sketching a vague notion in smoke.
    --Something to do with damned or insatiable thirst or eternal languor or something. Dot com.
    I find one of the things I’m looking for. Two small steel rings attached to each other by twenty-eight inches of braided steel wire. This I got from a tunnel camper. Urban explorer type. What he expected to use a wire saw for down here I can’t say. Maybe it was part of his normal camping kit. Maybe he thought he’d use it to saw his own leg off if it got pinned under something. Anyway, he made out OK. Never knew what knocked him on the head. Most likely never missed the pint I took from his veins. He was too well equipped and carried too much ID for me to empty him. Probably had a whole crew who knew he was going spelunking in the tunnels. Missing a day too long, search parties would have started. But the saw looked useful, so I pocketed it. Figured he be happy he woke up without having fallen and broken his neck. Wouldn’t notice one item gone.
    I haven’t had occasion to use it yet, but the strangest things come in handy in my line.
    I put the wire saw in my pocket.
    --Damnedinsatiablethirsteternallanguor. Dot com. So fair to say she was looking for something specific.
    He looks at the floor.
    --Fair to say, yes, fair to say.
    --And the boy. One of those infecteds likes to cruise Goth and vampire sites looking for a Lucy? He out trolling for someone he could tap for easy pints?
    Chubby looks up.
    --No. No. I don’t think so at all. I think, forgive me the sentimentality, I think the boy was looking for someone to talk to. He struck me as, if anything, annoyingly earnest. I think, perish the thought, that he was lonely. With, perhaps, some tendency to overplay the roll of doomed and undead, he was certainly feeling genuinely isolated. Confused. Desperate, I would say, for something resembling normalcy. I am not at all unacquainted with the type. My business draws them like flies. Young men and women, out of their depths, looking for something they can cling to. It has long been one of the hallmarks of my professionalism that I aggressively vet my applicants and accept only those who I trust to be most willing, able, and adaptive to the rigors of a life in porno.
    It’s not actually bullshit. Everyone knows Chubby is a cut above pornmeister. No junkies. No self-mutilators. No bipolars. No chicken. He runs a clean shop. Hi-tone freaks who like to fuck on camera, and coldhearted pros. And he takes care of his people. Full-time staff and freelancers. Chubby doesn’t leave anyone to swing in