Joan Hess - Arly Hanks 06 Read Online Free PDF Page B

I arrest everybody in town and sort it out later?”
    “I’m not in the mood for what you mistakenly find so amusing, Miss Chief of Police. There is a serious problem in Maggody, and your lackadaisical attitude toward law enforcement is at least partially responsible.”
    “Are you trying to flatter me?” I asked as I sat down behind my desk and settled my feet on my favorite corner. “It won’t work. You’ll have to take a number like everybody else.”
    I could almost hear her grinding her teeth, but after a dark look, she said, “Last night Brother Verber discovered three teenaged boys in the Voice of the Almighty Lord Assembly Hall. They were drunk. One of them was standing at the pulpit, less than properly clothed, engaged in blasphemy and disrespect for the good Christians of the community.”
    “Oh, my gawd,” I murmured.
    “What do you intend to do about this outrage?” Mrs. Jim Bob continued with the relentlessness of a torrential rainstorm.
    “Shoot ‘em?”
    “The point is that they obtained the liquor illegally. You may waste your time reading magazines at the edge of town while pretending to monitor the speed limit, but I cannot sit by idly while the youth of Maggody sink into a moral quagmire of indecency and disrespect for their elders.”
    “Then you’re going to shoot ‘em for me? I can loan you my gun, but I’ve only got three bullets so you’ll have to aim real carefully.”
    “The liquor,” she said, sounding a bit strained, “came from Raz Buchanon’s still. Everyone in town, from the youngest child to poor Adele Wockerman out at the county rest home, knows that he’s running his still up on Cotter’s Ridge. I’m surprised that the chief of police has seen fit to allow him to do it right under her nose, and without any discouragement or suggestion that he cease.”
    “The chief of police knows about this?” I said incredulously. “I can’t believe it, Mrs. Jim Bob.”
    “Now listen here, Arly Hanks, I’ve had quite enough sass from you! As the wife of the mayor, who does pay your salary, I demand that you arrest Raz Buchanon and destroy the still before it destroys the moral fiber of Maggody!”
    I put aside my urge to continue needling her (for fun, if not for profit). “I’m aware that Raz is back in business, but it’s a tad more complicated to stop him than you’re implying. I’ve tried four times in the last month to find the still. I can show you bruises and scratches, although the tick bites are more private. He may not be the smartest person in town, but he’s cunning enough to move his operation any time he catches wind of my imminent appearance, and not just to another spot on the ridge. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re surrounded by wilderness, all of it crisscrossed with logging roads. If it were a matter of watching Raz until he rented a U-Haul, I might be able to track him down. As it is, he ought to work for the Pentagon.”
    I leaned back in my chair and watched her beady eyes dart as she considered her response. She rarely deigned to speak to me, much less to come into the PD and attempt to bully me into action. But here she was, fuming and ready to fight, dressed for battle in a navy dress, a prim hat, white gloves, and a girdle no doubt partially responsible for her pink face (I’d like to take a little credit myself). It finally came to me—she’d been ignored recently, what with the wedding of the decade and Ruby Bee’s well-publicized culinary triumph. Mrs. Jim Bob was feeling like a neglected middle sibling, and she was here to put herself smack-dab back in the limelight. That she intended to do so at my expense was hard to overlook.
    This flash of intuitive brilliance required action. Before she could attack, I said, “It is a serious problem. I hate as much as you to see the kids drinking. If we could encourage some of the leaders of the community to become involved, we might be able to prevent the problem from escalating.”
    This