one who I know you remember I told you said I have a tumult in my ovaries, and reminds me of a guy in a bad painting who wants to be in a better paintingâthat guyâentered the pantry.
âLots of big important men in the pantry now,â I said.
He winked at me in a somewhat creepy but mostly avuncular way, and said to my dad, âTime to meet with Frank and Joe.â
âThank you for listening,â my dad said to me.
âDad,â I said soberly.
âYes?â
âIâd like to change my name to Tiffany.â
He laughed. It must be hard to have fun when youâre commander in chief of an army that kills lots of people. âSing me a song,â he said.
âOh powerful Powhatan, Iâm sad to see you sad. / Youâll always be my daddy, youâll always be my dad.â
âBye.â
âBye.â
Do great and powerful men where youâre from say theyâre sad and use words like emotionally only when talking to women? I mean I love my dad and everything but what was that visit to the pantry about, anyway? What did he mean to tell me? Does he think Iâm a receptacle for his delicate girly feelings? I ainât no receptacle.
Johnny Rolfe
Hello again, in a senseâ
In my mind I watch each word of this hurtle upward, bounce off one of earthâs half-atrophied prosthetic moons, fall back down, hit my crown, and break into its constituent letters, which slide down my neck and arms, through the bus floor, and are crushed by its tank treads into the earth, where each then merges with the genetic material of the single-celled organisms those pre-annihilation Cassandras warned would be earthâs sole post-annihilation forms of life.
There is a window at the front of the supply trailer behind the bus, made, I think, for folks like us who like to see their stuff while hauling it from place to place, and a window at the busâs back, so people on the bus who wanted to could keep an eye on the air that touched the window that touched the air that touched the window that touched the air that touched the redoubtable body of Jack Smith, shackled to a chair, and his liquor, trapped in glass. The two underwear-wearing men whoâd grabbed Smith sat in the back seat facing the trailer, erect in their bespoke suits of taut muscle, their unrelenting vigil on Smith controlled by what form of payment the soft and petulant Ratcliffe had convinced them theyâd receive. How, then, did Smith do it? Howâd he undo the chains, open a bottle of booze, take a nip, close it, arrange the boxes in the trailer to resemble a bar, find glasses in the boxes, arrange them on the âbarâ in a come-hither style, return to the hard chair heâd been chained to, and put his feet up to mimic what a bartender might look like? Half the bus was at that back window by the time Smith was recumbent.
âWho would it hurt to have a drink?â someone said.
The mass of purple blood billowed up inside the silky face of Jack Smithâs keeper, the mean, ambitious, talentless John Ratcliffe, when one after another of my travel companions shouted, âIâm thirsty!â and, âI need a stiff one!â and, âItâs whiskey oâclock!â Chris Newport didnât stop the bus, at least not at first. Ratcliffe was grateful to him for that, though I doubt Chris drove to please Ratcliffe. I know nothing of Chris but that heâs older than the rest of us, lost an arm in a fight, and has a wife who makes up for the armâsuch at least is my idealized view of wedlock. Another thing I know about him now: he has a thing for young and handsome men. I know because we have a man like that aboard our bus, a fun and tireless piece of ass, or so Iâve heard: Happy Lohengrin, whom Iâve seen exert his will as guile to get his way. So once he sat down side-saddle on Chrisâs lap while he drove, and explained to him roughly how much fun a