Jacob Two-Two and the Dinosaur Read Online Free PDF Page B

for a pee.”
    “Let’s face it, Pleaser, kids aren’t like you or me. They’re childish. Why, you put two of them in a room and before you know it they’re biting and pinching and scratching each other.”
    “Weren’t you ever a child, Wacko?”
    “Yes, but things were different then. I was perfect.” “So was I.”
    “But I was more perfect than you were,” Wacko said, kicking Perry Pleaser in the shin.
    “No, you weren’t,” Pleaser said, kicking him back harder.
    “Oh, yes I was too,” Wacko said, pinching him.
    “Oh, no you weren’t,” Pleaser insisted, spitting at him.
    In an instant they were rolling over and over in the dirt, pinching and scratching and biting. Two generals had to separate them.
    “Who started this?” one of the generals asked.
    “He did,” Perry Pleaser whined between sobs.
    “Liar! You did!”
    “Sez who, shorty?”
    “Sez me, mutton-head!”
    “This has got to stop,” the general pleaded. “You are setting a bad example for the troops. Save your fire for the dragon, gentlemen.”
    “Yes,” Wacko said. “And that dreadful Jacob Two-Two, too. Because this is war and he will just have to take his chances.”

CHAPTER 13
    our weeks into their hike to the Rocky Mountains of B.C. there was suddenly no more joy for Jacob Two-Two in eating enough toasted hot dogs and marshmallows to make him feel sick to his stomach. What he really longed for now was his mother’s marvelous chili, her incomparable roast chicken, and, he had to admit, her hugs, her kisses, and the stories she read to him before he went to sleep. He also missed horsing around with his father and even the teasing of his two stinky older brothers and two stinky older sisters. His longing led him to take a big risk. He slipped into a small town,found an all-night pizza parlor, and ordered a king-size L’Abbondanza made with tomato sauce, garlic sausage, green peppers, olives, and cheese. Then he took it back to camp to eat. It was too much. He couldn’t finish it. So he offered the other half to Dippy, who gobbled it up, smacking his lips. “Hey,” he said, “this is terrific stuff! How about fetching me some?”
    In spite of the danger, Jacob Two-Two returned to the all-night pizza parlor. “Do you deliver?” he asked.
    “Sure, kid, what do you want?”
    “Fifty king-size L’Abbondanzas.”
    “Holy cow! That will come to three hundred and fifty dollars. You’ll have to pay cash.”
    Jacob Two-Two counted out the money and an hour later was out on the road with the delivery man. “Just another mile down the highway,” Jacob Two-Two said. “You see that big green boulder? We stop right there.”
    “Funny,” the delivery man said, pulling up, “I’ve come this way maybe a thousand times, but I’ve never seen that green boulder before.”
    “It’s always been here,” Jacob Two-Two said, alarmed. “It’s always been here.”
    The delivery man unloaded the pizzas. He glanced at the green boulder again and suddenly his hair was standing on end. “My God!” he shouted. “It’s moving! That boulder has red eyes! Out of my way, kid!” And he leaped into his truck, made a quick U-turn, and sped away.
    “Dippy,” Jacob Two-Two said, “you were supposed to sit absolutely still, with your head tucked in.”
    “I know, I know, but the smell was driving me bananas. I thought he’d never get those pizza pies unloaded.”
    “Let’s get out of here,” Jacob Two-Two said.
    So they galloped back to camp before Dippy sat down to his feast. “Oh boy, oh boy,” he said. “Yum, yum.”
    One minute there were fifty pizzas on tin-foil plates stacked in rows of ten and the next minute – gobble, gobble, gulp, gulp – there were none. “Say,” Dippy said, smacking his lips, “that was great for starters. Now what’s for the main course?”
    “What’s for the main course? Gimme a break, Dippy.”
    “I’m still hungry.”
    “You’re always hungry, Dippy.”

    An hour later Dippy wasn’t