JACK Read Online Free PDF Page B

urinate.”
    “No! Just leave me alone!” I sobbed and yanked at the bindings while she fixed up the sheet and pulled the bedrail back into place. The door shut with a solid thump and I was alone.
    Hell, this had to be hell. I cursed Emma. I cursed Henry for pulling me out of the water. I cursed God for taking Momma away.
    I was drifting off when Dr. Chance came back. He wasn’t alone this time.
    “Jack.” Dr. Chance motioned to the man beside him. “This is James. He’s going to help take care of you.”
    The white uniform James wore made his square body look gigantic. “Pleasure to meet you.”
    “I don’t need no one to take care of me.”
    Dr. Chance arched an eyebrow. “Really? I could have sworn Catherine said you would rather use the facilities then the bedpan.”
    I looked at both men then nodded. “Yeah, please. Please let me up.”
    Dr. Chance stepped aside and James undid one of the straps around my ankles. He walked to the other side of the bed and Dr. Chance said, “Now, there’s something you need to understand. We work on a privilege system here. I’m trusting you to not try and hurt yourself. Every day you prove to me you can respect the trust I am lending to you, is a day you can earn another privilege.”
    “Can I leave?” I watched James unbuckle another strap.
    “You have ways to go before you can go home. But we’ll see how the next few days go. If you take your medicine and do as you’re told maybe I’ll let you sit in the dayroom.”
    James finished undoing the straps and I rubbed my arms. I started to climb over the rails. He put a large hand on my shoulder and pulled me back. “Easy, wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”
    There was a clink and the bed rail disappeared down the side. James put a hand under my arm and helped me out of the bed. My legs felt like rubber bands and my knees wanted to buckle. Even my bones ached, like the bruises weren’t just on my skin. When I got to the bathroom I tried to close the door. James stopped it with a foot against the bottom. “Door stays open.”
    “But I have to go to the bathroom.”
    Chance said, “Privacy is a privilege. When you can be trusted to go in there alone, then you receive the privilege of having privacy.” He went out and James stood by the door staring at me. My cheeks burned. I hobbled over to the toilet.
    “Need help?”
    “No. I’m fine.” I gripped the handrail mounted to the wall, pulled the gown, bunching it at my waist, and sat down on the cold porcelain. Squatting made pain shoot through my hip from the cut on my thigh but I refused to make a sound.
    James stepped back around the corner until all I could see was his shoulder and part of his leg. Every so often he would turn his head just enough that I knew he could see me out of his periphery. At least he gave me the illusion of not having an audience.
    When I finished he helped me back in the bed. James took my wrist and pulled it toward the straps. I yanked back.
    “Now, now, you can’t be doing that.”
    “I don’t want to be tied down.”
    “Privilege, remember? You have to earn the right to not wear the straps.”
    “But I didn’t do anything.”
    “Jack, don’t lose the one privilege you’ve just earned.” James held out his hand. I gave him my wrist and trembled while he buckled me in. He pulled the blanket up over my lap before he left.
    *** *** ***
     
    It was like that for days. Long miserable days of being watched over while I ate, went to the bathroom and showered. I took the pills, one with each meal. They made my head feel funny and my speech slur. I always tried to go to the bathroom before I had to take the medicine. If I didn’t I would pee the bed.
    I never knew humiliation could be a physical pain until then.
    A week went by. I think it was a week. It might have been longer or shorter. Between the pills and the lack of windows it was difficult for me to know when the day began and when it ended. During that time I’d gotten rid