It Runs in the Family Read Online Free PDF

when it was almost time for communion, the room was warm and quiet, and a priest in a long robe and stole walked towards the back of the chapel, chalice in hand. He was followed by a woman carrying the host. Seamus was standing in the middle of the aisle, his hands behind his back, transfixed by the priest’s ornate garb. He was in the man’s way. I swooped in to pick him up and all eyes followed him as we tried to fade into the woodwork.
    My toddler was well behaved throughout the rest of Mass. He sat on my lap and gazed at the stained glass windows, took in the unfamiliar surroundings, and played peek-a-boo with some of the people sitting near us. I put him down because he seemed calm and innately respectful of his surroundings. He did not run or scream; he moved slowly and touched things and people gently. In short, he was delighted to be in this place and the old men attending the Mass were delighted as well.
    Can older people in assisted-living facilities or nursing homes be close to kids as they laugh and learn and play? Can those close to the end of their lives and those just starting out enjoy life together?
    Toddlers and senior citizens at ONEgeneration Daycare outside of Los Angeles participate in activities like painting, gardening, and reading together. A New York Times article about the facility notes that “compared to their peers in traditional preschools, children in intergenerational daycare programs are more patient, express more empathy, exhibit more self-control, and have better manners.”
    And while the older people are not actually changing diapers or feeding the babies, they do feel needed and useful, and are often more focused and happy when the little kids are around. In a society that has no place for older people and treats aging like a long and unpleasant illness instead of a natural part of life, that feeling of purpose is rare and life-affirming. There are three hundred similar facilities around the United States.
    This intergenerational care model is not the only way that the young and old are converging in the United States. All over this country, grandparents are raising their children’s children. According to recent Census data, nearly five million children live with their grandparents, which is up from 4.5 million ten years ago. The tough economy, incarceration, unplanned pregnancies, social services intervention, military deployment, mental illness, and many other factors contribute to this phenomenon. It is definitely necessary in some instances, but it is a tough assignment to be one-on-one with a toddler in your fifties, sixties, or seventies.
    Research shows that grandparents who are responsible for the care of grandchildren are more likely to be depressed or have health problems compared to peers who enjoy time with grandchildren but don’t have to get them to school every morning, chase them around every afternoon, and tuck them in every night. It is interesting to view that data against the backdrop of the positive impact for older people of programs like ONEgeneration, where they interact with and relate to young children but are not primarily responsible for their upbringing.
    At ONEgeneration, the kids and seniors call each other “neighbor.” The little kids often greet elderly strangers at the mall or the library in the same fashion: “Hello neighbor.” I love that. It makes me think about how communities used to be smaller and more intimate places where you lived your whole life and knew everyone by sight or reputation.
    As we go through our days together, at the grocery store, in the library, on the street, Seamus makes a point of greeting all the people we encounter. He waves, he makes eye contact, he reaches out, he says hi. He doesn’t have the language to say, “Hello neighbor” yet, but he’s got the spirit of it alright. Seamus encourages me—no, compels me—to slow down, to engage with people, to get out of my head and be in the world. He helps me live